The Dysfunctional Mom

During a recent trip to Walt Disney World with my family, I observed several different types of mom-styles.

There is a Functional Mom. She's really focused on her offspring. She wastes ZERO time in lala land (trying to tune the noise of her children by zoning out). The Functional Mom capitalizes on every opportunity as a moment to teach her children something. She probably has a Busy Bag in her Land's End monogrammed canvas tote. Or flash cards of multiplication tables that she's using to teach her 4 year old.

The Functional Mom has healthy snacks always. Gummy bears and a Diet Dr. Pepper would not ever suffice (that's the snack menu of the Mother of Dysfunction).

The Functional Mom is probably giving me the stink eye for my disorderly purse. I'm the Dysfunctional Mom. I'm using the time in the wait queue for The Haunted Mansion by feeding my kids a Coke and some Shock Tarts.

Functional Mom's clothing is always weather appropriate and pressed. Mine- no. I might have slept in my yoga pants (which have never even been to a yoga class).

This Dysfunctional Mom gets really happy when my kids are quiet and not asking me to play patty-cake with them. I'm glad when they play on my iPhone for 10 minutes.

Don't misunderstand, I love hugs from my kids. But I really hate being climbed on. It hurts. I didn't "wear" my babies when they were infants and I'm sure as hell not going to carry them around when their legs are long enough to touch the ground when I hold them.

Don't worry if you are totally Functional, Semi-Functional, or a Dysfunctional Disaster. Just be true to who you are and don't fake it!

PS- this is my first post since March. Forgive my disjointed post, I need lots more practice!