Please excuse my lack of words.
To be honest, I'm fighting a serious battle of depression. I'm at a loss for words. I'm just sort of here in my life right now. Fighting to manage to take care of kids, house, and work. The will to write has left.
I don't do anything I like to do anymore. Clean house- no. Clean sheets- no. Putting on my work clothes, slapping on make up and a happy face is more than too much for me.
Do not worry. Send positive thoughts or prayers my way. I'm in therapy, seeing my psychiatrist, and my doctor. They are trying to get me back to my functioning self.
I'm not going to lie. Things have been the worst they've ever been since I had PPD when LLM was born. It's a wonder I still have a job and it's a wonder that DDL is up to taking care of my unreasonable crying spells, lazy laying in bed, and just being a walking-dead-person.
Monday was rough. So bad that I went to the urgent care clinic at the urging of my therapist. I sat there in the waiting room, sobbing. Got to see the doctor and he wanted to draw my blood. UH?? WTF? When did a major episode of depression become detectable in the blood? I declined and he said I could talk to him if it would make me feel better. Yeah, Jack Ass. I just wasted 2 hours of my life and took up time that actual physically ILL people could have been in there. So I left.
Thursday I got an emergency appointment with my Psychiatrist. I was harassed in the waiting room by a crazy man. It was so bad that the doctor called me back in to see him and instructed me to walk straight outside. So that's what I did, bawling the whole time.
I have been given some new medication and I expect that it is going to take 3-4 (maybe more) weeks to kick in.
So pardon me for the lack of words and the inability to read or comment on anything.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
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