My New Dance

I purchased a Pilates DVD that came with resistance bands last weekend. I just got around to trying it out on Wednesday.

LLM walked in the room where I was doing my moves and she said, "I like your new dances Momma." She is so handy to have around. She gives out compliments on shoes, earrings, dances, AND kisses. Plus she makes everyone laugh.

Yesterday both girls did the moves with me. This made it a little trickier since they wanted me to watch their moves ("Hey Momma Look at Me" and "Momma wook!") The little one got on the couch and landed on my head with all 30 pounds of herself and I had to banish them to the playroom.

I am very sore today. But it feels good.

Today is my Super Sweet Thirty Five! I have the day off, and I've cleaned a bit and I'm sitting in my recliner having coffee. I'm going to finish up the cleaning and have a sweet nap. These are the exciting things that I choose to do.

Mimilish and Papa have bought a house in our neighborhood! I'm so extra very excited! They are putting in a pool and we can have night swimming, night swimming with beer, after work swimming, after work swimming with beer... they will be about a block and a half away. I can let the girls and the dogs out of the front door and they can just meander on over! (Kidding, I won't let them roam free for quite a few more years.)

This is the neighborhood I grew up in (well, one of them... my favorite) and I'm so excited that my girls will have the sames. We even have a BFF just down the street (The Good Neighbor Girl). Good Neighbor Girl has twin siblings that are LLM's age. I love it!

The BLM

Is an odd little bird. DDL dropped her off at her summer program today and Mr. Gary asked her what room she wanted to go to (God Bless Him). She went into the room she went into yesterday that she had the hissy over. Uh, OK. Whatever.

And, like every other thing- what happens at summer program stays at summer program. I don't know the names of her playmates. I was lucky to get out of her what she had for lunch and the fact that they went to the movies today.

I rebooted overnight and am just fine with my new trip plans. In order to revenge myself of the insult of yesterday, I booked a sweet ass room at the Grand Hyatt DFW. Yeah. The hotel is inside of the airport. We just walk down stairs, check in and bam. Done. That's super worth the price when you have a 7am international flight that you have to check in 3 hours before.

Distapointing Day

(Distapointing = BLM speak for disappointing)

BLM started her summer program today. We pumped it up all spring long, talking about her friends and how she would spend time with them. DDL took her to summer school today to find out that she is in the little kid room, NOT with her besties.

He said she bawled. I don't blame her. Had I been there, I would have cried, too. I am going to beg and cry to the director of the program to switch her over.

She did have a good day- they went to the zoo in that HUGE bus. Tomorrow is movie day.

I had a distapointing day, too. I had to change our vacation AGAIN. It cost me more money than I want to rehash. Same hotel, same # of nights, but it wasn't my original plan and when I don't have my original plan I get all bent out of shape.

So, what my day consisted of was stress over BLM's distapointment and my change of plans disorder and I came home with a vicious headache. I'm better now.

IT LIED TO MY FACE

My scale looked at me this morning and lied right to me, I know it did. I took the battery out of that muther scratcher and threw it away.

I've developed my own brand of Flirty Girl Fitness (you know, that exercise video that teaches you how to be a High Paying Ho/Stripper?) It is tough, and takes mental fortitude and an inner strength that comes from deep within.

You put on your swimming costume/mom-suit/bikini/tankini/one piece ugly speedo race suit that I know none of you are ever going to be caught dead wearing. You exercise IN IT. No, not in pubic. In the privacy of your own bedroom, perhaps even your bathroom.

It is NOT FUN at all for me, but it was for sure motivating. Then to have my scale LIE TO MY FACE this morning after I have been on a faithful calorie count and exercise regime for 2 weeks? The doctor's scale said I lost 7lbs!!!!!! WHY is my scale at home a liar? Anyhow, the battery is out that bitch and I don't care. I mean, I care but I'm not going to trouble myself with anything but how I feel on the inside which is all that matters anyway.

In February or March I went to a plastic surgeon for a consult for tummy tuck and breasticle lift. You have to get down to your whore panties (a thong for me) and put on a silky robe (I had a variety of colors from which to choose... I picked red). You stand in front of the doctor (he's nice). He examines you and gives you his feedback.

I have had 2 c-sections and have that nice shelf above my scar. I wanted that gone, because otherwise I look pretty OK. I don't have any stretch marks (thank you, Mimi for the good skin genes). But I do have the pudge and if I am not careful with my extrasize efforts and beer whore consumption I look 3 months pregnant.

Do you know what the Doctor told me? He was looking at my belly area, and did a circle motion with his hands to indicate "this area" and said, "Now see this area right here? All of this is fat."

OH? REALLY? I didn't KNOW THAT! I thought I had a body like Brooke Burke!

Hope you have a good Memorial Day weekend with your loved ones. Please remember that BBQ is meat prepared in a special way. A BBQ is not an event. It is not an an appliance (grill). BBQ is smoked meats, not hot dogs or hamburgers, OK?

A Public Service Announcement for those of you that have never reviewed the BBQ Song:



I have a FIRST GRADER! The BLM's last day of school is today. I'm working 1/2 day and we are going to celebrate by having lunch at the place of her choosing and then doing whatever else she chooses to do.

You Say Potato

Formal Announcement: I will not be going privacy. I have too much to say and I like saying it. I'm not afraid to say it, either.

Like Kanye said that Fifty said, "Go ahead and switch the style up, and if they hate then let 'em hate and watch the money pile up."

So- throw your hands up in the sky, grab your favorite Beverly and read on. Because of all of the wonderful comments people have left for me on my blog and on that other place and emails- I feel totally loved. I am humbled by it, honestly. It has made me smile and made me feel very cared for. Thank you for that.

Happy Happy Joy Joy!

This morning, I got a wild hair up my ass and decided that I wanted to stay on vacation longer. I really want to be there ON our anniversary date.

I called the travel agent. After a few moments of hold time, I found out I could book the two extra nights with no penalty and they would OWE ME $17!

I have had the happiest day! I love planning and getting ready for a trip. It is just as much fun as vacation. We are making ONE plan. We are going to do a dolphin swim. Other than that we are going to be lazy slugs who flap over to the swim up bar, take booze naps, and relax in the sweet sunshine.

I'm working in town all week with fun projects to work on and half a day off on Friday!

Miracle on Willowbrook Street

I had a crazy notion today! I cleaned out 3 closets and one chest of drawers! None of them were mine, but I'm happy to say that the LLM has a summer lake wardrobe and a daycare wardrobe. BLM has a summer lake wardrobe and a big kid cool school wardrobe.

Some day, DDL and I will coordinate our time to tackle our mess of a closet.

I do not want to die and to have people see messy closets and drawers.

Crazy People 2

Big Little Momma in a Bag

Mama and LLM

Holly at Work

Lounging Dogs

This is me and my friend B. My work friend M taught me how to take self photos that make me look crazy! Thanks, M!

You Can't Always Get What You Want

Show your kids this video from Yo Gabba Gabba. You will be rewarded with a cool song you can sing to them when they ask you for stuff all of the time PLUS Jack Black is wearing the DJ Lance outfit and, "It really fits!"

You Can Go to School But You Can't Buy Class

How it feel to wake up and be the Shit and the Urine?

Rain Rain Go Away

I had another harrowing drive in the pouring rain today. I hydroplaned more times than I can count, I pulled over once, and once I got to my destination I went to the bathroom and got sick. I cannot drive in the rain. It was raining so hard I couldn't see.

The rain has got to stop. Our lake level is 625, and flood stage is 640. The Corps of Engineer's won't let the floodwater over the spillway until it reaches flood stage.

Our Memorial Day is shot. There is too much debris in the lake to get the boat out. This is bad news for people who rely on lake season to sustain their income. And it's bad news for those of us who rely on lake season to maintain our sanity.


BRIGEVIEW RESORT FLOODS

This photo is not from our lake resort, but a lake community just across from ours. I got this picture from www.kxii.com which has the best lake statistics.

Oh well, we can always make a mud slide!

It Was An Accident

It started with spoons and a smallish puddle of dirt and water. Promises were made that there would just be some digging with spoons and maybe (maybe) a little mixing. It developed into a full blown mud-fest. Think: My Big Redneck Wedding.

It was fun. You do what you want to do at Mimi's house. There are no rules there.

Top Notch

Here is the proud Student of the Year! She was proud of her medal, and couldn't believe she won the Student of the Year. She wore her medal to school for 2 days.

Little Lil Momma won something, too! A door prize!

And, last, a picture of how big our Beverly has grown.

She looks huge! She is full of it.

I Quit

Last night, after the Student of the Year Awards Ceremony- I came home to a filthy house, homework, hyper kids, and more laundry than I could shake a stick at.

I got my computer and went to my room with my beer and decided that I wanted to quit. I wanted to quit my job. I wanted to quit my kids. I wanted to quit being a wife. I just wanted to stay in the bed with the dog forever.

Then, I remembered that I had forgotton to take my crazy medication. DUH. Skip a dose of that and I am wallowing in the self pity for NO reason. I got upset with DDL because he left a sucker stick in my car. It isn't like my car is clean. It isn't as if there have not been a thousand sucker sticks in my car. I had forgotton my crazy medication and the sticky sucker stick pissed me off like he had committed a major error. Lord, how he lives with me.... I do not know. How he managed to live with an unmedicated me.... I double do not know.

I got my new Mom Swimming Costumes in the mail today from Lands End. One is really cute and not all that mom-ish. One is a tankini that is sort of mom-ish for those days when I'm feeling bloated. I got it on clearance for $12. I forgot to order bottoms for it, so I guess I will go without bikini bottoms when I wear that one. It should draw some attention to me. That will be fun.

We Got In!

I got up at 5am this morning to get in line to get the BLM into a really great summer program for school age kids.

I got in line at 6:15 and was #8.

This is their mode of travel when they go on field trips this summer:

Two of her besties are going to the same program. We are all very excited because the program is $75 a week and they get to go on all sorts of trips. The other option was $125 a week daycare (boring, watch movies all day).