I decided to post a definition of depression today, in light of a readers comment to me regarding my use of the tanning bed as a treatment for what I've been struggling with for the past two months. This comes from Web MD:
Major Depression (Clinical Depression) Symptoms, Treatments, and More: "What is major or clinical depression?
Most people feel sad or low at some point in life. But clinical depression is marked by a depressed mood most of the day, particularly in the morning. In addition, according to the DSM-IV -- a manual used to diagnose mental health conditions -- you may have other symptoms with major depression. Those symptoms might include:
Fatigue or loss of energy almost every day
Feelings of worthlessness or guilt almost every day
Impaired concentration, indecisiveness
Insomnia or hypersomnia (excessive sleeping) almost every day
Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in almost all activities nearly every day (called anhedonia, this symptom can be indicated by reports from significant others.)
Psychomotor agitation or retardation (restlessness or being slowed down)
Recurring thoughts of death or suicide (not just fearing death)
Significant weight loss or gain (a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month)
To distinguish your condition as major depression, one of your symptoms must be either depressed mood or loss of interest. Also, the symptoms must be present for most of the day every day or nearly every day for at least two weeks."
So- that's just a little tidbit of exactly how I've been feeling DAILY. It hasn't been fun, and I've been working hard to fight it and to do my best to get through my days.
I do know that the tanning bed can damage my skin, and I know there is a danger from over exposure to UVA/UVB. I'm pretty smart, I've read all of that. I do think that the dangers/damage of the tanning bed far outweighs the danger/damage of intrusive thoughts of scary things that I'm not ready to be open about right now.
No disrespect to the reader that left that comment- don't run off. Now, the douche that left the comment about me being a fat ass lazy retarded woman who leaches off of her husband- he is totally excused from reading my words and I hope he finds a better outlet for his word vomit. I deleted that comment, btw.
Last night I laughed out loud at American Idol Rewind. It was the first time I have laughed in two months and it felt super. I think my new medication and the tanning bed is kicking in.
Monday, December 7, 2009
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18 comments:
SO happy that you laughed out loud. I remember that feeling after being in the dark hole of depression. Spontaneous laughter hits and it is so delightful. After you finish laughing, it's like you can't believe what just happened.
Hugs to you Mamalicious. I can't even tell you how much I admire you for writing about all this.
Douches - they're every where and just feed off of other people's 'things'. Hate them.
I'm so glad you got a laugh tonight, you need it, especially since you're usually the one making everyone else laugh (ironic, no?)! Enjoy a beverly and a lay in the tanning bed, it sounds fab, wish I were doing it too!!
*Hugs* Get those meds to keep on keeping on so we can have a full swing mamalicious ;)
I think a few minutes in a tanning bed is great therapy. It always makes me feel better!
Please make sure to take a few minutes to snuggle with your babies, even if you don't want to or feel you can't. They need their mama!
Hope you feel better soon!
Hey girl!! I must clarify, that when I made the "tanning is dangerous" comment, it was the first post I had ever read of yours... As I read further and realized you were feeling so bad, it was an "open mouth, insert foot" moment. Keep us updated!!
do what you gotta do, girl. You could go way crazier than tanning :-)
I love gorgsecrets! She came back ,said my bad and wasn;t all NUTZ about it! wow! I knew everyone who reads this blog is just awesome!
It's easier said then done but don't let other peoples comments get to you. Until they walk a mile in your head they have no idea what it's like.
I'm living on a little island in the middle of nowhere, 10,000 miles away from family support with a husband who is gone all the time, a daughter with mental health issues and very limited resouces available. I recently went on antidepressents and yesterday my Mom was giving me a hard time about it asking when I was going to stop taking them.
Whatever! LOL
You keep on tanning if that makes you feel better! I agree with you it is far worse for your health to be in a funk with bad feelings. Glad you have found your laugh again keep up the good work!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts :)
when staving off depression, the most important thing is finding what works for YOU.
there are also people who get seasonal depression because they really, truly, at the core of their being, miss the warmth and sun. i think you are one of those people! and it's not an "aww, i wish the sun was out!" it's more "if i don't see the sun soon SOMEONE IS GOING TO PAY!!!"
you do what it takes to make you feel betterz, hollykins. at least it's not crack and hookers!
Props to Holly for knowing her stuff. *highfive*
Laughter IS the best medicine (among other things...)
And too bad you deleted that nut-tards comment. I'd get no better joy than heading straight over to whatever black hole he crawled out of to share my own personal opinions of people who bend over and talk out of their ass.
Kudos to gorgsecrets - and keep reading. You will soon find that Holly is one of the most honest, funny, fabulous and creative people around.
Rooting for you, Holly.
Hey Holly---
Just wondering where you've been. Even though I don't post comments a lot, I still do drop by and read reguarly. Hope you had a nice holiday, and are starting to feel a little bit better. Depression really sucks.
Jen, thanks for your comment.
Holidaze were good. I had two crying jags but it was ok.
We spent Christmas morning at home with the girls and played with presents all day.
Zhu Zhu's are awesome.
I have the anxiousness because the girls are out of town with Grammy and Grandpa. They are all having a great time but I'm anxious when they are an hour and a half away from me.
Love ya'll.
I love your blog! I'm a lil dark for the tanning thing but I am right there with ya on everything else girl!
Glad to hear you're hanging in. May 2010 be better than 2009, huh?
Take care of yourself!
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