More Splendid Sayings

This time, from LLM (who is getting quite mouthy).

We have a pre-bath ritual called "Nakey Baby." During this game, the girls run wild around the house before their bath. Much shrieking and carrying-on takes place. It is fun and we always laugh.

The first thing I do after I get home from work is RUN for my bedroom and get out of my business attire. I had on a suit and hose today, so my body was ready to be free of those binding evil suck-em-ins. Little Lil saw me fully undressed (ew) and said, "Mommy!!!!! Nakey Baby!!!"

That girl is going to keep us laughing, just like her Big Lil.

We have ToT tomorrow night. I have proposed that we take an ice chest on wheels around the neighborhood. We could ToT for adult beverlies. However, I would need to pass out flyers telling my neighbors that we only like Bud Light and Michelob Ultra. Is that tacky??

PSA: Public Service Announcement

Do not fall asleep watching Ghost Hunters.

I had some freaky dreams last night. I dreamed that I could hear the voice of a man saying evil things (I don't know what those things were, but I know that I was scared). My heart was racing, and I couldn't wake up to tell Darren that I was hearing a man's voice.

No more of that before bed for me. I'm going to have to stick with calm and soothing things such as Intervention.

This morning, BLM's cat Phoebe was resting on her blanket. I said, "BLM, look! Phoebe found your blankie and wanted to take a nap on it while you go to school!" BLM says, "Momma? She sawed it with her splendid eyes?"

Yes. Yes indeed. Phoebe does have splendid eyes. I'm pretty sure I have never used the word splendid. But I think it is a great word and I intend to use it much more. I think you all should too.

Not Shot. Dog Bite.

Too bad the Chihuahua that bit my mother on Saturday didn't come with this warning:


more animals

Mimi was at visiting with one of her rental customers. Their dog got out and the little shit bit her on the leg. It hadn't had its rabies shot, so animal control took it for 10 days of quarantine. It brought blood!

Here is how we feel at our house:


more animals


So, with that- I'm finishing my beer, washing my hair, drinking another beer, and chilling. I.am.pooped.

Katy Tagged Me

1. Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by including links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blogs.

Random Things About Me:
1) I want Percocet for Christmas. A whole stocking full. Thanks!
2) I actually dread Christmas. I don't like putting up the tree or taking down the tree. I find the whole thing rather depressing. Maybe that's because DL has always had to work. Perhaps this year will be better.
3) I have a New Years Resolution already: get the girls their CDIB card. Totally do-able.
4) I am drinking a beer right now.
5) I can't wait to watch Intervention on A&E.
6) I just like to smile. Smiling's my favorite.
7) I hate when my socks get wet from stepping in the dog water.

I am not going to tag, but I appreciate the tagging and I love answering questions.

Wild Weekend

Not so much wild, but very fun and full of activities!

The BLM was in the Homecoming Parade with her Girl Scout troop.

We enjoyed watching the parade with the LLM and some very good girlfriends.

After the parade, I went to a baby shower and got my baby fix. Ok, I didn't get my baby fix because I had pregnant/baby dreams that night. But, I enjoyed the baby shower and got to hold and feed the sweet baby doll!

Saturday evening, my girlfriend Katy brought her kids over to our house. They had so much fun running and playing! (Our sweet neighbor friend has the ladybug mask on... I didn't want to expose her on the enterwebz. I don't know if her parents would appreciate that!)

My scary Halloween grave yard. Mimi and BLM made this on "their special night."

Sunday, the girls carved pumpkins with Papa.

This week is a busy work week for this Momma. I have travel 3 out of 5 days. It's for a good cause, but it is hard to get any projects completed while I'm working on 10 projects at once. I just made myself sound more important than I really am. Ha!

A Couple of Years Ago

Well, technically... almost 10 years ago (maybe more, I'm not keeping track).

That's DL & me- the Chi Omega/Pi Kappa Alpha Homecoming Queen at ECU. This is homecoming weekend for ECU. I hope to see some friends this weekend!

The girls are workin' my nerve. Is it quite alright to have a beer at 9am?

Uh Oh.

I'm feelin' sorry for myself!

DL has been OOT for 2 weeks. I'm dying here. These wild animals cannot be contained. They are more than one person ought to have to contend with alone.

BLM has had 2 meltdowns today.

• Broken Halloween Necklace- "I HATE THIS NECKLACE. I never want another necklace again!" Real tears, ugly cry, you know- general hysterics.
• Spilled Root Beer- "I HATE SODA! I never want another soda again ever in my life!" Real tears, ugly cry, and hysterics.

Both of these episodes lasted from 15-20 minutes. Mims had to endure the necklace debacle. I had to endure the root beer trauma. It was pretty bad.

I have resorted to drinking beer right after work. Tonight we didn't get home until 7pm. This puts me all out of sorts because I really like to be home at 5. I'm not getting enough time to do my chores since no one is here to help me. (Feeling sorry for myself. I know I don't exactly have a rough life, but please indulge me in some bitching thank you very much.)

We are one hour past due on bathtime. This means I will not get any alone time tonight. I really need to be alone. Do you think they would notice if I slipped out of the house after they were asleep in bed? Nah. They never wake up anyway.

Of course I am just kidding.

For Sasha

The Chicken Dance:




Hope you enjoy!

Busy Night

The concierge desk has been extra busy tonight.

My patrons needed dining services, extra curricular activities, nakey time, snack provisions, and Tubbie Tubbie viewing. In between all of these requests, I've had to fill in for the other employee of our hotel because he didn't show up for his shift. Yes, he's technically "in training", but he isn't here and that's why I get to bitch about it.

The big one has added a new weapon to her arsenal of tricks. She is very crafty with the spoken word, that one. A few weeks ago, she conned me into watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with her by saying that it was "Our Special Night". How can a person say NO to that? You just can't. Imagine the heart break.

Last night she pulled this maneuver on Mimi. They were at Wal Mart, and the BLM asked for some Halloween yard decor because it was "Their Special Night." Mimi didn't know about this tactic. I failed to mention it to her- honestly, I thought it was a one-time thing. Little did I know that she had stored this in her memory to use at any given time.

It worked on Mimi. It's only a matter of time before it works on Daddy and Papa too.

Cool Has No Age Limit

These people get cooler by the minute. It's true.

They are my parents, and they are my best friends. They are the reason I am the person that I am today.

I'm so lucky. They live about a mile away. We talk on the phone and email all day. We see each other every day. It's like air. I need it to live.

They have helped me through some majorly tough times in my life. Bringing my babies home from the hospital, for instance. They were there for me through every crying fit, every panic attack, everything.

Papa has been picking up the little one every morning and taking her to school for me. He never has to be asked to do something kind for us. Mimi and Papa pick the girls up from school every day at 4:00 and keep them until I get off work. They might not know it, but this is a huge relief for me not to have to take 45 minutes to pick everyone up and bring everyone home. It is a huge weight off of my shoulders.

I'm playing the part of single mamalicious right now as DL is out of town for training. My parents have picked up slack, and never once did I have to ask them. They just DO it.

Someday, I know my girls will look at me and think I'm a freak of nature. Then, one day, when they are grown up- my shit will be cool and they will be my best friends. Isn't it neat that I'm raising my best friends?

Thank you, my sweet parents. Thank you for being who you are and doing what you do. I hope every day that I do what makes you proud.

Halloween Practice: Round 1

I need make up help!

BLM is going to be a kitty cat. Her costume has not yet arrived, but we have our kitty ears. We decided it would be a good time to practice our make up. I didn't do so hot. I need tips!

LLM is Minnie Mouse. I've decided to forget about the make up I found in the Halloween aisle, and just use liquid eyeliner on her for her whiskers.

I need to be pointed in the right direction for face-painting instructions. You know, that fancy stuff they do at Disney World!

Help a Sista out!

Got Tagged!

Thanks, Shanna, for the photo tag!

Here are the rules: Choose the sixth photo from your sixth album and post it with a brief description and/or the story behind it.

This photo is called, "Merry Freakin' Christmas." I had put the LM's in matching PJ's for some cozy Christmas pictures. The small one ran out of patience very quickly.

No time to tag others, as I have to put a very non-compliant Little Lil to bed for a nap. There is going to be a Wild Ass Fit.

Fabulous Female Friday

The Little Lil Momma and I got an early start on our fabulous Friday this morning. As I was getting glossy, LLM came into the bathroom and saw that I was wearing a dress. She promptly ran to her room and brought me her Cinderella dress. She had to wear it while she ate her yogurt and watched Tubbie Tubbies.

After she got dressed, she found my hot pink plastic beads and had to wear them to school today. I think she rocks it.

My New Invention

I've been thinking about this for a looooooong time. Now, I have to find a way to produce this and turn my dreams into reality. Stop yourself before you steal this idea. I've already got my name on this one.

We all know how great it is to have a freshly cleaned home. One that smells of cleaning supplies, fresh sheets, and vacuum marks on the carpet. I love clean sheets most of all, but having vacuum marks on the carpet is my Number Two favorite clean house thing.

I have decided to invent carpet that has perfect vacuum marks that NEVER GO AWAY! How great would that be? I can only imagine how happy I would be if my carpet always looked like it had JUST been vacuumed.

Now I have to devise a plan. If I could set this up pyramid-scheme style, that would be great. I need to be at the top tier, of course. It won't require any sales pitches under the disguise of a "party". No make-up or snake oil to purchase... just carpet. With vacuum marks. Who, pray tell, just WHO wouldn't want that?

Now, if you have hardwoods- I can't help you.

Happy Piomingo Day!

For white people, this would be known as Columbus Day!

For Native Americans working for a Native American Tribal Organization that celebrates right along with all Federal Holiday's- this is Piomingo Day. Piomingo was a Chickasaw Warrior. I'm thankful for him. I like the day off.

I like the day off with no children. My house is (fairly) clean. My laundry is (pretty much) done. The children are gone.

I have no plans, and it is great. I lie. I do have plans. I'm going to rotate between the recliner, the couch, and the bed.

So Sad.

That game! It went all wrong! And, if losing the game wasn't bad enough, we had to bring Big Lil Momma home from the party because she was sick. She had so much fun playing with her new friend Jacob. Jacob and BLM have the same birthday, 1 year apart! As soon as we got her home she started vomiting. I finally have her all cleaned up and clean Jammies. She's in my bed so I can keep my eye on her.

Please enjoy our photos in our OU Flair! We were looking major cute today!

The dish below is called "Bean Wellington". It is a masterful creation. They had decided to make Snickers Wellington later, but since BLM got sick we had to head home.

We lost our game, and that was sad and such. But the day spent with friends, food, kids, food, beer, booze, and football was great! Too bad it ended with a tummy trouble for Siss.

Big Day

The dogs woke me up early. And they woke up the BLM who has been having a terrible time sleeping with a nasty cough. I could spank those dogs! (Not really, we don't spank our dogs- for the love of God, that's stupid).

I woke up nervous. Today is a big day. OU/TX. If I were in Dallas, I'd probably be at the State Fair right now getting ready to have my first beverly. But I'm not there. I'm here, and here it is too early to have a beverly.

We'll be going somewhere to watch the game. Did I say I'm nervous? Is it weird to wake up thinking about a Football Game? Actually, it isn't just a football game. It is a sporting event, and an important one. (Those are words straight out of Daddylicious's mouth.)

Boomer Sooner!

Homecoming. Come Home.

College Homecoming is coming soon! Did you all know that I was the Chi Omega homecoming queen in 1997? Yes. I was.

Hey- My Girl Katy has started blogging. She is one of my favorite peoples in the whole wide world. I think you should stop by her blog and tell her HEY YA!

Katy inspired me today when we were talking about Homecoming Weekend. I thought it would be a fun idea to have a Glamour Shots Theme Party. We could fix our hair really, really big. We could wear lots of make up and maybe an acid washed denim jacket with a popped collar. We could pose for senior pictures and laugh all night long!

That's the kind of stuff Katy and me used to do (in high school, at church camp, in college). We would laugh until we were sick!

Please, come Home for Homecoming, Katy! Let's have Glamour Shots and Senior Pictures. You know you want to.

Edited to Add:

Clemsongirl blogged about these pants about a month ago. I went to Target and bought some around 3 weeks ago, and they sat in my dresser until last night.

I almost had to call in to work today because I didn't want to take them off. Uh. Mah. Gah. They are dangerous. They might make me the laziest person on the face of the earth. I just want to shave my legs and sit around in these pants. Get you some.

No Clouds in My Zone

Friday! In college, I never got out of bed on a Friday. Mainly, it was because I had a headache. Every freakin' Friday! I wonder how that happened?

About 4 weeks ago, I went through a switcheroo with my crazy meds. My Lexapro had pooped out on me and I was edged out, angry, sad, anxious, and all of those emotions that go along with. I found a psychiatrist and we switched to Effexor XR. I was wary. I almost quit taking it 2-3 times.

It's working. Hooray for the House of Licious!

Not only that, but DL started his new job and he's HOME AT NIGHT! I have to admit, I was a little scared about what that was going to be like. In our whole married life, he has never had more than a few nights a week off.

We have loved having him home. He is doing all of the right things. The girls are fighting over who gets to be "his girl". Little Lil doesn't want me to do anything for her. She wants her DL. Thankfully, Big Lil takes mercy on me and will be "my girl" for a few minutes at a time.

Swim class was last night and we ditched. Uncle is here. It was far more fun to have Uncle to climb all over than to go to some stupid swim class when we already know how to swim. DUH!

New Competition:

Since Daddy is home more now (happy dance), he has used his charms to make sure that the girls prefer him. LLM has trouble sharing Daddy with BLM. It's quite funny.

It's all in fun. The girls are mine. They now it.

Here is proof:

And the Little Lil Momma

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Geneology

Update!

I contacted the Director of Community Education and the Director of the Wellness Center that are both responsible for the swim classes. I didn't ask for a refund, but I did tell both women everything that took place in the swim class yesterday and they both thanked me for calling. They said they would make sure to discuss it with the instructor.

All it takes is one second in the water for something bad to happen. I expressed that to both directors that I spoke to. They acted appropriately dismayed, so I'm sure that it won't happen again.

At least nothing bad happened this time.

Swim Lessons: The How Not To Guide

Wonderful experience tonight! BLM went to swimming lessons! Whoo hoo! Fun in the pool and some structured learning!

Not so much.

Swim teacher wasn't wearing her swimming costume.
Swim teacher proclaimed "free swim".
Swim teacher sat on her chair and observed her clipboard for 15-20 minutes.
Swim teacher did not notice that one of the swimmers was struggling. The Mother to the struggling swimmer had to yell at the instructor. The instructor calmly walked to the ladder and asked the kid to use his arms. How helpful! How non-stressful for the Mother!
Swim teacher took a pee break during free swim.
Swim teacher stood with her back to the pool while having conversation with the mother of the non confident swimmer boy who struggled.

I talked Chandler into leaving early. We can swim better than that. Hell- we did teach her how to swim at the lake this summer.

It is not OK with me that a kid floundered. I'm going to call the university tomorrow and report that swimming instructor. How can it be OK to have young swimmers in the pool with no adult in the water with them? That's NOT OK.

Austin!

A great place- that Austin, Tx. There were so many neat places, nice people, beautiful wonders of nature! I can see why anyone would want to live there. Aside from the mark of the beast (damn those Longhorns!), it ranks among my top places to visit. I can't wait to go with Daddylicious.

Maybe it was my hostess! In fact, I'm almost sure it was. First, we spent Friday night at a theatre that has food and beverlies. If that isn't good enough, there were 3 comedians who made Moctober out of the movie Forrest Gump. It was hilarious! Next, we paraded around on 6th Street and even got a Pedi-Cab.

On Saturday, we had a late breakfast and went to a place called Hamilton Pool. We had to hike down some rocky terrain to get there, but it was a beautiful spring-fed pool with a huge rock wall. The water was perfectly clear, and very cold. The weather was so warm, we were still able to swim.

Saturday night, we went for sushi. This was my first sushi experience. I'm hardly adventurous. We had meat that you cook over a hot rock (food with activities, very fun!) We also had some sort of rolls with fried shrimp with spicy sauce and California rolls. I even ate with chop sticks.

Sadly, we were so tired that we didn't make it to the cowboy bar. This is the tale-tell signs of becoming old! I was asleep by 10:30. Don't you judge me. I was tired from working 4 10 hour shifts!

Outta Here!

It's Friday!!! I had a long week working 10 hours a day so that I could take today off.

I had very crazy dreams last night. First, I dreamed that I was at the airport without my luggage. In my dream, I didn't remember driving to the airport and I was upset that I could drive all the way there and not remember any of the drive.

Next, I dreamed that BLM and I went to Jamaica. We didn't stay in a very nice hotel, and the rooms had removable walls. Totally weird. I didn't get to finish the dream to find out if we had fun or not. Right before I woke up from it I was about to go to the bar and find out what kind of beer they had- I was concerned that I would have to drink Jamaican beer.

My psyche is always weirded out right before I have to get on an airplane.

For Lacy- I will be sure to take some great photographs for you! I will be hoping to keep my boozing under control. If I get buck wild, I won't be able to function the next day. There's too much planned to ruin it by having a nasty hang-around. So "theoretically" I don't plan to get drunk enough to pretend that I smoke! I will let you know how that turns out, ok?

Look forward to a fun report! I may even get to blog from Austin!

Maxi Tasking

Mother of Pearl, I've been busy. I won't bore you with the details, but I created a training video at work. Unfortunatley, it isn't a training video of me. But, my voice is used in this masterful creation. I'd share it with you, but it is proprietary information and you can't view it unless you werk at my werk. Sorry to tease, but that's how it is when you werk in the fast-paced training department of world class gaming operation.

The girls have been rockin' some wild hair. I've been working 10 hour shifts (we will talk about that in a minute), so Daddylicious gets them dressed and ready for school. The BLM has easy-to-fix hair. The LLM requires major fixing and lots of product. She has been looking like an orphan. Poor fingy.

I am going to Austin on Friday to visit my college bestie. We talked today. She has planned some fun things for us to do. She says we MUST visit a gay country bar. I love to go to gay bars. I love gay people, and many people I love are gay. However, I CANNOT EMBRACE or CONDONE COUNTRY MUSIC. I hope no one finds this offensive. There are people that I know and love that listen to country music. They probably download it. They might even go to a concert. Country music is not the lifestyle for me. (I still love my friends that listen to country. I don't think bad of anyone for their taste in music, but please know that we just can't listen to country music together.)

But- I promised her that I would go if there would be people to laugh at. Laughing about people is a hobby of mine. I laugh about myself, too, so I don't want anyone to think that I think that I'm a superior person.

I'm pretty much a bad choice and a mistake waiting to happen, but I take pride in the fact that I turn it into something funny.

What I Am

Is busy.

I'm sorry. Perhaps I will fill everyone in later tonight on the Life and Times of the Multi Slacking Mama.

One thing is for sure- there is a SCARY graveyard in my front yard along with a harvest display. I will have to take some photos for everyone!