Like to Be Laughing?

I know I do! I found plenty of funnies at Engrish Funny.

Mud Pie

I can't compete with it. It has got to be the best thing, pretty much ever.

Mimi (my mom) picked the girls up from school today. This is a normal routine. My parentals like to have time o plenty to spend with the LM's. It's the best situation anyone could ask for. The girls get picked up early, I don't have to be running all over town doing the 5:00 scramble, and my parents get their LM time. It's a win/win.

Today, Mimi took the LM's to her house. This is a good thing for them, however, they never want to come home. I think if they had the option, they might just prefer to stay there full time.

I found them in the back yard, with nothing but panties and pony-tails on, making mud pies. They were using old spices (pumpkin pie spice, coconut, and who knows what else) to mix into their mud pies. They were not muddy at all, but they had been having the best. time. ever.

I stayed and watched the pie making for awhile. I asked if they were ready to come home. The answer was, of course, no. Not at all. They ended up staying there for dinner.

No wonder LLM has a melt down of epic proportions when she has to be with me. I don't make mud pie! What other tricks does Mimi have up her sleeve?

Everybody needs a Mimi! But, you can't have ours. She is spoken for. You'd have to go through the LLM to get to her and trust me when I tell you that home girl does not play!

Whiney Wednesday

HALP. I'm surrounded by whiney girls who are full of demanding demands. It is awfully awful and horribly horrible.

The Littlest Lil Momma is tired and clumsy. She has been tripping over things and stumbling into walls and bonking her head and screaming mad.

The Biggest Lil Momma has a girlfriend over. They put on dress up clothes and have been running in my house in noisy flip flops. The noise of the flip flops on my tile was enough to send me over the edge. Well, not really. It was enough to send me to the beer fridge.

There is something about Wednesday's that just bug me. It begs for whiners and clumsy tired kids to pester their tired headache-having mother.


more animals

Days of Old

I found some old pictures on Friday night. I will share:

Sasha and me at the Dad and Daughter Banquet. I think this was 1981 or 82. She was helping me down the stairs.

Me & Shannon in the college daze. I think we were 20 or 21 here. Somewhere around those parts. Stop acting like you don't like my Nine Inch Nails t-shirt.

Daddy and Mamalicious kickin' it Old School. I'm pretty sure I was trying to impress him with my mad party skillz. Too bad he didn't know I was going to get old and grouchy.

The picture below outed DL as a drinker/smoker. I had it on his fridge in his compartment (apartment) and his parents saw it. DOH.

And another of me and DL.

Hope you enjoyed the photos!

The Health Report and Other Amusements

We are fever free and healthy as of 5:44pm. The BLM took an hour nap. Our cat, Phoebelicious, slept on her head. I told her that Phoebe took her fever away during her nap. Her appetite has returned. She is her normal happy, sing-song, talkative self.

After picking up the LLM at daycare, we went to Wal Mart. The first thing LLM always tells me when we get there is that she "ONTS TO WOK." I tell her no. She is riding in the cart. The protest begins as soon as the sliding doors open and the carts are sitting in front of us.

The LLM has added a new move to her repertoire. It is known as the Stiff Leg. The Stiff Leg makes it impossible to put a 2 year old in the cart. Everyone in Aduh is passing us going into the store. The LLM is yelling, "NO MOMMA! I WOK!!!" repeatedly. I'm laughing at her tactics, and BLM is pointing at a baby and trying to get me to look at it. I couldn't do anything but laugh because LLM was just getting stiffer and harder to bend in the middle.

I managed to get her in the cart and she yelled at me and tried to stand up in the cart for a solid ten minutes. I told her that she wasn't going to get a good girl treat. She didn't give a ratz ass about a good girl treat. She ONTED TO WOK.

She didn't get to WOK. She had to sit, but she did get to share a good girl treat with her sissy. Sometimes... they just wear me down.

Slacking from Home

Poor Big Lil Momma! She has a fever and a headache. I'll be Multi-Slacking from home today. This means bringing popsicles to the sickling, watching Spongebob, catching a load of laundry, an email or two, and perhaps... just perhaps... a nap later. I hate sick days, but I love a nap.

Two in the Mo-nin'

Little Lil Momma had a big nap on Saturday. She slept until around 4:30 in the afternoon. Last night, we could not get her to sleep. I put on a movie for the girls around 10:30 and closed there door. Good night!

I woke up at 4:30 and checked on them and they were snoozing away.

At 8:02, I woke up and they were still sleeping. Very rare. But- Mimi told me a little story about the Little Lil Momma. She had herself a party!!! Who knows if she ever even WENT to sleep. Mimi was watching TV and heard a knock at her door. It was the Party Girl. The Party Girl had left a trail of toys from the bedroom to the living room (where Papa was asleep on the couch). Her hootenanny had not woken him. Mimi put Party Girl in bed with her. They rocked. They patted. Mimi said that little turd did not go to sleep until 2am!

That better not become a habit.

Momma Moments

Little Lil Momma headed down to the lake with Mimi. I stayed home to clean, and I will head down to the lake tomorrow. I called to check on the LM's, and I learned that LLM got very sick on the way down to the lake in the car. As soon as I heard she vomited in the car seat and all over herself, I couldn't contain my tears. I cried for a good solid hour and tortured myself for the fact that I wasn't with her. The Momma wants the LLM when she isn't well.

I talked to them again about 20 minutes ago, and she seems to be fine. It is my ultimate preference to be with the girls when they are ill.

A sick Little Lil Momma needs her Baby Momma :(

On another note, there are some fun things to look forward to next week! Old school pictures of me and Shannon. Also, I found some old pictures of Daddylicious and I back in the college daze. It will be fun to share!

High Five!

Or, maybe I should say, "High 2.5!" I've managed to put one LM to bed.

Tonight was pretty horrific. But, the day started out great. I had to take LLM to the doctor for her 2 year old check up and a shot. She did not even cry. She whimpered for just a second- but not a tear. I took her to school and went to work.

After work, we went to Wal Mart. We happened to run into Mimi. Little Lil Momma had a fit. She had to get in Mimi's cart. Then, she had a fit to get into Mimi's arms. Next, she had a fit to leave with Mimi. This was fine because we had decided to grab a taco together.

All hell broke loose after the tacos. I knew it was going to be bad when we walked into the parking lot towards my car. Little Lil Momma tried to sit down in the parking lot. She started to jerk and cry around. I had to use physical force to get her into her car seat. If you are not a Mother and you have not experienced the Back Arching Anti Car Seat Spasm, then you probably have no idea what I'm talking about when I tell you that it was sheer terror for all of us.

I got her secured into the car seat while I laughed until my gut hurt. I have a weird reaction to these very traumatic meltdowns for the girls. It makes me laugh and I have to hide my face and that makes me feel even funnier because it's always better to laugh at forbidden times.

After about 2 minutes of it, I stopped laughing. The child was screaming, snotting, and choking and yelling for Mimi.

We got home and she had another very significant tantrum in the kitchen. I let her wail in the floor- attempting to ignore it. I finally decided to give it a bath and put it to bed. She hollered at me through the ENTIRE bath and I hurried through it.

FINALLY, after lifting her out of the tub she quit crying. I think I would have rather her cried during her shot than to go through a solid 2 hour tantrum like we had tonight.

Poor fingy. She must be feeling rotten because she's not a crabby crabberton under regular circumstances. This might even be the first major meltdown since she turned 2.

Now I have to figure out a way to get talky talkerton to bed.

What Happens At Hayes

Stays at Hayes.

Do not ask 4 billion questions at the end of the day. Don't ask, "Who did you play with?" Don't ask what they did during gym. Don't ask, "Who did you sit by at lunch?"

These are questions you are not going to get an answer to. I know the name of BLM's teacher and the name of the one friend she sits across from. It's not fair. I want a BLM Cam on her so that I can see what she's doing and who she's playing with.

I did receive an interesting question from her on the way home. She asked me, "Momma. What is a girls privacy called? What is that word?" I told her it was called a vagina. She said, "Bagina rhymes with China! China! Bagina! China! Bagina!" It was silly and it made me laugh. I asked her why she was wanting to know, and she told me that she just forgot.

Here is how the LLM looked this morning:

Sweet Daddylicious

Daddylicious and I spend a fair amount of time talking about the cute/funny sayings that the LM's make. We are pretty sure that we invented cute/adorable babies and we love to repeat their phrases.

Since BLM started school, she has been packing her back pack in the morning. The LLM was very impressed with this concept. She told me that, "I ont a backpack" on Monday morning after she saw Sissy with hers. I had to scrounge through the house looking for an acceptable bag- which ended up being one of those nylon type back pack bags with string. Like this:

This morning, I took LLM to school and DL took BLM to school. I didn't even think about the back pack. When we were backing out of the drive way, LLM said, "where my back pack?" I didn't even know she would even think about it again! She talked about her back pack all the way to school.

Being the obsessed-with-cuteness MML that I am, I had to tell DL how adorable she sounded. He thought it was darling and we laughed about how many words she has and the kind of things she comes up with.

A few hours later, he calls me and asks me to meet him outside of my office. He made a special trip to the store to find a LLM sized back pack and he couldn't wait to show it to me! She was wild about it when she saw it! She wore it all night long!

I'll be sure and let you know what she packs in the back pack tomorrow morning!

Dear Bob,

I'm excited about football season, are you? I've been acting like I don't care about it, but I really do.

All of the females in my family think you're really good looking. Two years ago, my BLM saw a picture of you and pointed to it and said, "der's daddy." I don't think she meant you were HER baby daddy (in fact, I know this is not true). I'm quite sure she meant that she thought your picture looked like her DADDY.

BLM is quite a fan. At age 3, her favorite DVD was the OU/TX Red River Shoot Out/4 in a Row. She can call the plays and name the players. That made her Daddy so proud!

Even the LLM knows how to say, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO U!" We do it every time we are at the table together as a family. I think she thinks it is like a prayer or something.


Just wanted to let you know that we're all excited and ready!

MML

School Rocks!

Momma was nervous ALL DAY. I dropped this cute girl off at a big school that she had never been to before. I thought about her constantly. I could NOT wait to hear how her day went.

It was AMAZING, in her words. She had the best day!

How could she not, looking this cute:

We are even having a calmish evening at home. The smallest terrorist terrorized me until her dinner was ready. I chased her out of the kitchen, which pissed her off. I had to make up a song about giving her a spanking. She liked the song. It really is a great parenting technique... if they are being naughty or ugly or doing something I dislike- I make up a song and they stop what they are doing.

Just wait until I give that a try in Junior High.

What the Duck?

Several things were strange about this weekend.

It is August. It should be anywhere around 99-112 degrees. The lake should feel like bathwater. There should be no clouds in the sky, and the wind should not blow. These are the things that I've come to expect from August. By September, I'm sick of it- but in August I'm hanging on to summer and enjoying it. I'm one of those crazy-ass people who loves the heat.

My body is confused. It's 85. There are clouds and a slight breeze. I don't get that sensation of overpowering burning hell when I go from inside to outside.

So I'm depressed that it's school time. I'm depressed that football is around the corner. I don't want to give up my lake daze. I'm not ready to pack away my swim suit. I think I cried in my sleep a little bit over it last night.

Little Glasses was crawling with deer this weekend. We saw so many with fawn. That's strange. I wouldn't think that it was still the season for animals giving birth to babies, but what do I know? I thought that happened in the spring. It feels like spring. Maybe we get to skip fall and winter and go right back to spring? That would be ideal!

We also saw a Momma duck with three fairly fresh ducklings. They still had their yellow down. Is mother nature confused? I'm confused. I've never seen ducklings in August. It is August, isn't it?

School starts tomorrow. I have to make sure that my little ducklings are nestled in early tonight. I will post pictures tomorrow of what my T-1 student looks like!

Party Like Rock Starz

The Party Cake- Totally Wal-Mart! And it was cup cakes- so easy to serve!

The 'Licious Family in their Party Gear. We totally rocked it out.

Chandler and Friend


Only a Rock Chick would love to have a rat for her birthday!

Mimi and Papalicious straight cold kickin' it. Papa shopped all over town for this vintage
Led Zepplin T-Shirt.

Three hard-core party girls!

Mamalicious with Yo Mimi and Papalish


That's really all I can work out right now. I had a long ass day and a long evening with a screaming LLM. I left my glasses at work and I took my contacts out. I hope I can get through the night without!

HAY! I COOKED!!!!!!!

Little O' Me inspired me to use my crock pot by her post about her new crock pot.

I'm making beans and cornbread for dinner tonight. I might even fry some okra. That's a big maybe, because I am not one to fry things. Or even cook things.

Daria is gone, but the bitch didn't even take my beer bloat with her. Oh well. I worked on my fitness this morning. Those pounds will go away eventually.

I must go get glossy for my day. I have a meeting at 8:30 with the legal department of our sister organization. My task is to help facilitate a meeting for them. I've been to plenty of strategic planning sessions, and I've been a part of many meetings that were facilitated by outside organizations. This is a test for me, and I'm going to fake it 'till I make it.

I know I got bonus points from my boss for accepting the task!

Oh Please Oh Please Oh Please

Make them nice this evening. Please. I need them to mind and to not ask me one thousand questions. I need them to not crawl all over me while Daria is being excused. I do not need BLM to tell me that it is stinky, then ask me a thousand questions about Daria. I just don't.

I also have Helen, the Herpes. She's such a fucking bitch. She is living inside of my mouth. I can't think about anything but how bad a fever blister hurts when I have a fever blister. More Valtrex for me! Wheeeeee, how I love taking 2 pills 5 times a day. I'd like it alot better if the Valtrex gave me a buzz or some other enjoyable side effect, but it doesn't.

Oh geeze. They are calling me. Can't it be bedime yet?

I decided to get them going on their art project for their playroom this evening. We got out in the garage (full of fucking ants). I had painted 3 canvases an off white color and bought pink, green, yellow, and blue paint. They went to town. It's a hot mess, but it is going to look very artsy in their playroom.

Now we are having some fits over cheese puffs and gum. It is quite close to 8pm. I think to save my sanity that I need to enforce an 8pm bedtime. School is starting soon, after all. We have to transition, right? Tell me it's OK to put them right in their bed.

I can't stand Darren working at night. I need his moral support. These two are too much. I am not able to do man-on-man defense with them. It's more like zone defence and it isn't working out. Of course, being on the computer doesn't help but I HAVE DARIA. What part of DARIA do these kids not understand?

As a side note, it was 77 here today in Aduh, Oklahoma. Where was this weather when I was 17 months pregnant with the BLM in August? Sheesh.

"Working" from Home

Ack, working from home this afternoon. This is not easy.

I have to maxi-task by trying to maintain a conversation with the Big Little Momma. She wants to know what I'm thinking about the episode of Phinnes and Pherb that is on. Can she have a piece of gum? She would like a Popsicle. Can we go get LLM? What is this handle on the umbrella for? I have the umbrella over you so your laptop won't get wet. Can I go play with Ariel (the new little mermaid doll I bribed her with yesterday so she would wear bows in her hair)?

I'm proud to say that I will be contributing some words to Operation Skinny Bitch. I must tell my story there. It will be fantastically funny, probably inspiring too.

Keepin' It Real

The lake weekend started with a nice meal at a Mexican Restaurant.











Beer was involved. My cool hat was present. I rocked the low dog ears. Sad news about that hat. I lost it somewhere on Saturday.




LM's had to have McDonalds. They are not into fine cuisine at this moment.

I had some Back Porch Good Times and Boat Dock Good Times for Lacy this weekend.

This is me on our deck at the lake house. Do you see that Coors Light sign? That's what Daddylicious bought Papalicious for his birthday last year. It is a pretty big source of pride for Papalicous, as this is his beverly of choice.


Lacy, I took these pictures with you in mind. The one on the right is me guzzling on my beverly of choice- The Mich Ultra. The second one is my Lionel Richie Pose. These pictures were taken at our boat dock. I even got in the water to pee.

Sasha- Notice my Ada Cougar Shirt? I'm an Ada Courgar Cub Mom now!


















On Saturday, we got up and headed down to the dock with our lunch and beverlies. Little Lil Momma rides in the wagon full of supplies. Check her out! She has the life.


Yesterday was a beautiful day on the lake. The sun was out, the girls were amazingly adorable and well behaved. AND I got to go to the beach with Uncle Rodney and Aunt Lonna. They are not really related, but I wish they were. They are part of our lake family.

BLM and I got in the boat with them while LLM and the Mimi and Papalicious headed up to the house for a nap.

We drank beer and soaked up the fun. I drank 3 waters to every beer I drank (around 8). I was having a good solid buzz, yet I maintained composure and was headache free. Every day should be as good as that.

During the booze fest, Uncle Rodney and I noticed a strange Personal Water Craft.

Have you ever seen such a thing as this? Two people ride side by side on this thing.

Last, is a picture of Big Lil Momma and her "fiance" Gage. They asked me to take a picture of them together. And I did. And then they wanted for me to take a picture of the kissing. I was in shock and awe. I said NO KISSING, that is GERMY!!!!!!!!!!!!! YUCK!

But, the are darn cute together and they walked up the boat dock holding hands. Too sweet for words.

The Key to a Happy Life

I heard this on the XM Comedy channel a few months ago, and have decided it to be true. The key to a happy life is simple. Three little words. They will change your life forever (and for the better, I think).

Lower Your Standards

Magical when you think about it. You don't have to make all of these crazy demands on yourself to be happy. Your house can be a little dirty. You don't have to cook every meal (this is good for me because I don't cook ANY meal, much less EVERY meal). Your laundry doesn't have to be finished. OK, so I'm mainly talking to myself here but that is fine. If anyone can benefit from listening to myself, it's me. I'm ok with that.

What was for dinner last night? I know that is the burning question. My friend stopped by with her 2 girls. Friend and I had beer, and the girls had cereal, toast, bacon, and milk/grape juice. Everyone was happy. It didn't take long and there was no major clean up issues. After that, they carried on with playing and friend and I talked some more.

I did manage to get my laundry caught up, even though I'm living by the Low Standards concept. Maybe I'm not really living the Low Standards concept just yet. It's merely an ideal. A hypothetical theory for myself that keeps me sane. Ok. It doesn't keep me sane. It is just something to tell myself when I feel crazy.

What Do I Do Again?

Yesterday I took an art class (at work, for work). I learned how to draw faces. This is my self portrait, complete with the ho-lights in my hair.

My eyes are looking a little wide-set. Perhaps I am a fetal alcohol syndrome baby? We will ask Mimi. She probably drank a lot of whiskey and got real hoxie when she was carrying me. But it was the 70's.

And here is what I would look like if I were plastic.

They are both a little scary.

Make Today a Great Day!

Yesterday was good. It really was. Unless you count the LLM falling apart around meal time. I don't blame her. I certainly feel like falling apart at meal time myself.


Number A) because I have to "cook" it.
Number B) I never know what I'm going to fix until I fix it.
Number C) It's never a fun chore because the LM's are usually clamoring for attention.

I'd rather be giving attention than "cooking" something. I'd rather be in the playroom pretending I'm a zebra or eating pretend cookies and tea.

In case you don't know, I don't "cook". "Cooking" for me is more like a sandwich or frozen waffles. I usually toast the waffles before I serve them, but that is pretty much or favorite thing. It's my favorite thing. I don't know wha the girls favorite thing is. They don't really have time to eat anything but cookies. I could serve Oreo's for dinner and that would suit them fine.

Anyhow, I'd like today to be a great day if you don't mind. I'll let you know how that turns out.

Relaxation

This word is not in my vocab. It just isn't meant to be. Especially not between the hours of 5pm-whenever BLM decides to stop talking. Which is when she's asleep. Which won't be anytime soon since we have a little friend spending the night. Don't get me wrong, I love little friend. LOVE HER. I'd keep little friend forever, she's the girl who fits right in here.


They took a bath outside in the plastic baby pool. They kept their 'kini's on, but we filled up the baby pool with bubbles and had our soap and shampooing outside. They were wild about it!


We also had some karaoke time. That's so relaxing. I can hear the girls chattering. Loudly. That's mega relaxing, too. It's actually anti-relaxing if you want to know the truth of the matter.


I visited my friend Christy today at The Brown Box. She sells a variety of goodies, but my favorite thing is her line of Tyler candles. If you have not set yourself up with one of these, you really must. High Maintenance and Kathina are my favorite. You will not be sorry. You won't ever waste money on cheap candles again. They are even better than Yankee candles.

I want to thank all of you for listing songs for me. I'll let you know what makes the cut. I will sure have party pics to go along with the party report. After this, I'm going to start saving up for her Super Sweet 16 party. I need to be able to afford to buy her that Escalade she's been eyeing.

I have had some annoyance at work lately. I don't feel at liberty to share, as some readers may be people that work with me. I'll just let it be a mystery to you. Maybe you can get me drunk someday and I'll open up about it. It isn't big, it's just annoying. I wasn't even present for the Annoying Event of Today, but it got 2 of my co-workers all hacked off. They are two of my favorite peeps, so I'm hacked off on their behalf. I keep it real like that.

It's A Long Way to the Top if you Wanna Rock N Roll

Mamalicious Readers, I need you to comment today!

I'm party planning (read a few posts below, as you will see this is my first theme party to plan). I am making a CD with some fun tunes for the kids to rock out to.

Here is what I have so far:
It's a Long Way to the Top- AC/DC
Pour Some Sugar on Me- Def Leppard
Walk this Way- Run DMC & Aerosmith
Higher Ground- Red Hot Chili Peppers

I was going to add the Humpty Dance by Digital Underground, but the song starts out with, "Uh Uh Do Me Baby." I love the song. But I'm not sure that other kids' parents would think very highly of me if their kid came home singing, "Uh Uh Do Me Baby."

I need ideas for tame-ish songs. Rock or punk would be great, and rap is fine too. I just can't have over-the-top vulgar lyrics. I personally love vulgar lyrics in my rap music, but I choose to censor that for my LM's ears.

So, no Pussy Control by Prince... OK?

For the Love of it.

The phone is ringing. I hate the phone. I hate it when it rings. It's never anything but a recording. I never answer the home phone. Hell, I barely answer the cell phone.

The girls were on their annoying game tonight. Mims and I were hanging curtains (I must spiff this house up before the rock n roll fiesta). The girls did not appreciate the fact that they didn't receive their normal undivided attention. They made sure to let us know of their displeasure by putting on their most demanding of routines. Seriously, I had to resort to drinking. That's not wrong is it?

It is close enough to bed time. The little one is going down. This is too much for me.

Party Like a Rock Star

For Sasha- here is our party invitation made for me by Shannon! We are going to be doing tattoo's, hair color, and karaoke. Hopefully the kids will be able to wear their punkiest rock star gear!

I got blow-up guitars and bandannas for party favors. We will be having pizza and root beer.

This is my first attempt at a full-blown theme party. I'm really getting excited!

ETA: My friend Sasha... we have known each other since 1st grade. We are going to rock out soon. There may be trash bags and bandanas involved. Just a fair warning!

No Napper

Oh, Holy Moly! I didn't make the LLM take a nap today. She turned into a bear around 5:00. Nothing was right. Everything was wrong. She screamed MOMMA MOMMA MOMMA at me in the car on the way home from McDonalds (don't you judge me, right Sasha?) I pulled up in the driveway and she had fallen asleep. She got a 5 minute nap.

She pooped in the tub. I got them out of the tub and hauled them to the shower. She flipped the %UCK out on me and screamed NO NO NO NO NO MOMMA NOOOOOO! (Showers are terrifying, you know.) I washed her down really quick and got her jammied and snacked. She's looking for me now. Maybe if I type quietly she won't hear me. Shhhhh... everyone be quiet, she's coming!

Screw it. I'm putting her to bed.

No More Babies

I spent a fun morning with some fun girlfriends! My friend, KV, is expecting soon and I went to her baby shower. I didn't do a great job with wrapping my gift, but I did get to hold another friends baby.

I am a baby looker. I am a baby lover. I love BABIES! Baby Girl is 8 months old, and she was just delish! She was a little bit sleepy, so I asked her Momma if I could hold her and rock her to sleep.

Baby and I sat down with a binky and a baby doll and I rocked. Momma was busy hostessing, and Baby Girl really wanted to fight her nap! I got her to sleep with some shuuushing, binky tapping, and butt-patting. It was heavenly.

This Momma is not having any more babies. On Sept. 14th I will make sure of that permanently. I could EASILY trick my mind into thinking another baby is a fantastic idea. I know that isn't true, as I really only want to hold and rock a baby.

I have assembled a nice list of things that I think are essential for a new baby.

1) Disposable Wash Cloths: These are great for newborn babies before they can have their first real bath. You can get a bowl of warm water and use this for their sponge bath (which I call a Spongebob Squarebath). You can even use it to wash their hair, too. I think it's great because you don't have to drag a bunch of stuff out, just the water and the wash cloths. My friend, Sasha, says to cut them in half- and she's right. They are way too big! 2) Leachco Safer Bather: This can sit in the tub and it keeps your baby nicely positioned for bath time. You hang it up and it will be dry before the next bath time. This would be great to put on the kitchen table or bathroom counter for the Spongebob Squarebath!

3) Miracle Blanket- This was a miracle for us! It is a magical swaddling device. Baby's arms are kept down and that prevents them from slapping them self in the face and waking up. (This was our issue with LLM's sleeping). We got this when she was 7 weeks old, and she slept 7 hours the first night we used it. We used it until she was around 17 weeks old and she was already sleeping great. This thing is worth about $1000, but they are priced around $27.

I'm a really good baby momma. It is a shame that I won't have any more, but it is for the best. I'm a grumpy pregnant lady. I always have gestational diabetes and I don't recover from c-sections well. I always have post pardum depression, too. Always= two times.

Older, mobile babies wear me out. I like it, but they start getting into stuff and then they start talking and talking and talking. Then they talk some more. Then they learn demanding tricks, like having to have cereal and a video before bedtime no matter what.

If anyone has a new-ish, not-yet-mobile, formula fed (so I can feed!) baby that needs some rocking- give me a shout. I would love to be able to take care of your baby for one whole night so a new momma and daddy could get a full nights rest!

Gift Wrapping Gone Awry

I need to face it, I don't have the knack for gift wrap. I'm going to a baby shower tomorrow (high KV if you are reading). I won't say what I got, but I put it in a basket and bought the cellophane to wrap it in so it would look cute. I'm sorry, but it didn't turn out. Now I just have a basket with the gifts inside.

However, I think I might have made up for it by buying him his first pair of lorts.

The girls are gone. They are driving Mimi bonkers. Little Lil Momma got a scolding, so I know they must be trying to wild out. I bet she's looking at the clock wishing it was bedtime like I always do.