Be Careful, This is Painful

It hurts me real hard. Please, close your eyes if the cuteness overwhelms you!

This is all in practice for the Big 4th of July celebration. Summer is "our holiday" the way Christmas is to some people. Personally, I could skip Thanksgiving and Christmas all together and concentrate on lake time. That's just me. I don't think I could get anyone else (other than my parents) to go for it.

Honestly, I prefer the quiet weekends to the BIG weekends. Only the amatures come out on the big weekends. You know you are serious and big time if you are laking all summer, not just those "token" holidaze. :o)

Crap First, Cute Later

I will blog about all of the crap going on for me first, following this there will be some cute pictures. Skip this if you do not care for grouchy blogs.

Last week: Carpet Disaster
We've hashed it out. It wasn't as bad as I thought (it usually never is, which is why I pre-worry and prepare myself for something horrible.) The bill for the carpet fixation was $125. I can handle that- we didn't have to replace the whole room, just part of the pad. Whew.

After Work on Monday: BLM has total breakdown in the car. She tripped over a cup holder and scraped her ankle. SHE COULDN'T EVEN WALK! SHE NEED ER HELP. Not really, but that was the reaction. I have no doubt that it hurt and it stung, but she really went over the top with it.

Following that, LLM puked crackers all over herself in her carseat. She had a tummy full and had spent at least an hour in an office chair spinning in circles. Puke was the result.

I had to deal with a hobbled Big Lil Momma and a puked covered Little Lil Momma.

More Evening Disaster: A/C not working. Did you know that tomorrow is the first of July? It gets hotter than hell here. I have all of the windows open and the fans going. DL does not know this yet, and he will yelp and complain when he's sweating in bed tonight. I have a call into our A/C peeps and hopefully they will be here tomorrow.

BLM is "very sick and her throat hurts." She couldn't possibly eat dinner. Lemonade made her throat burn. Therefore, she didn't get to go swim with her little bestie neighbor. So she felt better. So I told her to eat. So she said she couldn't eat, but she felt so much better. So she wanted to go swimming. And I wouldn't let her. That was tragic.

Now they need attention, and I'm spent. I'm a horrible mother.

I know this to be true, because BLM and I spent the afternoon on Sunday with some friends at the beach. The Lil stayed home at the lake house. LLM asked FOUR THOUSAND TIMES: "Where is Sissy? Where is Uncle Rodney? Where is Papa? Where is Gage? Where is Wyatt?" Never one time did she ask for me. I have a HUUUUGE guilt complex over that now. Huge. Major. In fact, I shouldn't be typing this I should be all up in her face giving her the lovins she needs but the truth is- I am tired and drained from thinking about the A/C and dealing with the carpet and putting BLM's room back together... I needed this break!

And, there are other things that I've had a sad about today, but I won't dwell. I'll just leave it there because typing it out doesn't make me feel any better it just makes me feel worse.

New Blogs Added to Blog Roll

For your reading pleasure, I have a few new blogs on my blog roll!

Check out Johnna!

Read about The Brown Four as well as her other blog about her dream-come-true The Brown Box (gift store full of goodies!)

Look at Tyson's Blog (beautiful photography)!

The best thing is, I know these people IRL and didn't know they blogged until recently... I can't wait to get a glimpse into their inner thoughts via their blogs. Blogging is the best.

Purtneer Purfect!

The weekend was pretty much perfect!

We spent Saturday at the dock, swimming and jumping and having some cold Beverly's. A little storm moved in so we had to load up and head home. Dinner was great and the girlies were so well behaved. BLM is becoming quite the lake girl and loves to kick and swim in her floating thing.

We played with a sorority sister's family. Our LM's and their boys got along perfectly! Another little friend caught a (dead) shad, and the other 4 kids kept trying to take it from him. It is amazing that you can have 14 water floats and toys and the kids want to play with a dead fish. They would bargain with him, "Hey- if you give us your fish we'll let you play with this...." He wouldn't go for it, and we had to make him throw it down when we left. I'm pretty sure there is a Bible verse about not coveting they friends dead fish.

We took a trip to the grocery store while we were at the lake. (Note: very small town). When I walked in, I was horrified to see a young child wearing a tank top and underwear. He looked about 4. Of course, I cannot judge because I don't know what is going on in the sitch, but it made me wonder (in side of my mind) what would make a parent let their kid go in the store in a tank top and Spiderman underwear.

I thought of some great blog topics that will be coming up soon. Please look forward to talking about:

Pillows
Pillow Biters
El Camino
Career Change/Pyramid Scheme
The Baby Center Convention

Also, you can be looking forward to some pictures of the lake fun we had. Everyone should have weekends just like this!

It's All About Me

Guess what I did this morning? (I've been doing it every morning, but this morning I added a new component).

I got up early, went into my back yard (which isn't that serene with all of the kid shit laying around and the veg garden full of weeds where I meant to plant strawberries and tomato plants). I did some stretching and Mamalicious Chi. Kinda like Tai Chi, but different because I don't know what Tai Chi is. Basically Momma did her stretching outside. It was nice, even though there were some wayward My Little Ponies strewn about.

On my walk, I took several chances to run. I know I look like an asswad when I run, so I made sure that no one was looking at me.

Then I did some sit ups, squats, push ups, and my favorite of all exercises: laundry.

Now I must go make myself very cute for the day. It is Friday. I am hosting a conference call. I must look pretty and glossy so that the participants of the call can hear that in my voice.

I'm boring. I really will work hard over the weekend (while I drink beer) to think of some more intertaining thoughts for my blogs. Thank you for putting up with my bullsnap this week. I am full of it.

Mimilish Shout Out

You people can't have her. She's mine. Thank GOD I don't have to share her with anyone. I wouldn't be very nice.

My mutha came over tonight and made us pancakes for dinner. Then she whisked the LM's to her house to spend the night. I'm sure they are still awake partying it up.

I was able to pre-pack and pre-clean for the lake. I put clean sheets on the LM's beds. I don't know why I am obsessive about this weekly clean sheet thing.

Wait. I do know.

I always felt like my Momma loved me real hard when she changed my sheets. I guess this is one of my translations of love for my peeps. I put clean sheets on their bed. It feels so much better when someone does it for you. (This may be a hint for anyone that is my baby daddy and wants to show me how much he loves me by putting clean sheets on my bed before I come home from the lake. I'm just sayin')

And I'm picky about the clean sheet rules, too.

You can't get in your clean sheets if you are dirty. You have to be freshly bathed. It does not count if you do it any other way.

Insane in the Membrane

Insane in the Brain!

I thought that shutting the door to BLM's room would force the leak to go away and dry up on its own. No. It doesn't work that way. I thought calling the insurance man would make it go away. No. It doesn't work that way either.

I hate making phone calls and stammering my way through explaining a situation. I had to call the insurance man who told me that my premium was due. I was like, wha? We pay that through our mortgage, how can this happen?

So I was forced to call the bank. I was forced to go through the receptionist who thankfully put me in touch with my homie, LoriLoveLicious who gave me the good news that the payment to insurance man had been mailed yesterday.

Then I had to call insurance man back and tell him he would be getting the late payment soon.

Then I had to go see carpet people and talk about replacing carpet in BLM's room. My deductible is $1000 and I don't want a whole house full of carpet. I want my carpet just the way it is, old, so I don't freak the fuck out when dogs vomit or kids spill shit.

Then I had to call the heat/air place to ask someone to take a look at my a/c unit to make SURE it is not clogged because I don't want to deal with this again.

I don't want to deal with this at all. I just don't want to. My brain is not equipped to handle these matters. Well, of course it is, but I get in a frenzy and I go into crisis mode and I blow everything out of proportion and I exaggerate and before I know it I've talked myself into thinking that I have the most miserable life in the whole world.

I'm pathetic. No one should be subjected to reading this blog at all.

Lake Sweet Lake

I will not be able to tolorate it if these girls get any cuter. They are crossing a fine line.

I Missed Tuesday

My Momma (AKA Mimilicious) is the best ever. She and I were having an email convo. She mentioned that so-and-so in her office smacked her gum so loud she could hear it in another office. She said that "so and so" eats with gusto.

I'm still laughing. I was in my office, laughing out loud. Maybe it isn't funny, but "eats with gusto" made me almost tinkle. I have bladder issues, so that is a true statement- not just a random saying like "lol".

The a/c unit is fixed, but BLM's carpet is soaked. I have called insurance man. Let's talk about how we pay for a product (insurance) that we hope to God we never have to use. Every month we pay for this product. Something happens- and we go out of our way to avoid using this product because our premium might go up because we had to actually use something we're already paying for. Did you follow??? I hope so.

So, yesterday I got a headache after a meeting. I don't know how I made it through the evening, but I did. All day today (it is Wednesday) I thought it was Tuesday. I believed it to be true up until about 4:30. So, that is kind of a bonus feature of my feeble mind.

Not Too Fun Today

Grouchy Ass Mood.

Came home from lake yesterday- house mildly dirty. I let it slide.

I spent my lunch hour grocery shopping today. I bought stuff to "cook", but it didn't happen. I meant for it to happen. I was just tooooo grouchy when I got home today and my house was too dirty to spend time in the kitchen doing something I hate to do.

I was too grouchy over the dirty house and the fact that the a/c unit is leaking into BLM's bedroom and the carpet is soaked. That fucking sent this bitch over the edge. I went O-F-F. It twasn't pretty and the LM's even witnessed the freak out session that Mother had. Sorry girls.

I got all four beds clean-sheeted. I have almost all of the laundry done. The bathrooms are clean. I went for a walk. I did my extra-sizes. I ate a WW meal. I had a Xanex. I'm going to have an ambien.

I'm going to FIND A PSYCHIATRIST TOMORROW. These issues ARE NOT NORMAL and will not be tolerated by DL for long. He hasn't said as much, but I know it can't please him any. I would be hostile if I had to put up with me. I do have to put up with me and I'm hostile.

Sorry. That wasn't any fun kind of a post but if you have some advice on how to find a doctor I'd lurve you forevah.

Slipped and Fell and Hurt Myself in 2008

Ouch.

Many falls and bruises were sustained to my body over the weekend. I regret to tell my readers that I do not have photo evidence of the falls that caused the bruises, but I can tell you about them.

1) Jumped out of boat (that was up on the lift) and onto the dock. Fell on one knee. Very large bruise on one knee. Too painful to kneel.

2) Jumped out of the boat (up on the lift) a second time. Five beers had been consumed by this point. I fell backwards when I landed. The only thing that kept me from falling into the boat slip was the railing on the side of the lift. My ass landed on the railing. A very large bruise was sustained on my lower left buttock. I can only sit on my right cheek.

3) Many other random bruises on my legs took place for some unknown reason.

Have you ever seen Dazed and Confused? I was like those girls at the Party at the Moon Tower that fell down drunk and couldn't get up because they were laughing their asses off. Except, I didn't fall down with any friends and I didn't laugh my ass off. I didn't cry, so at least I had that going for me.

BLM tubed for HOURS today. Hours, I'm telling you. She did not want to quit. I will have many photos of our lake weekend to post soon. It was a good weather weekend with no wind and great company. I can't wait to do it again next weekend.

Random Notes About Bossy Girls

LLM has a shoe-thing. She wears everyone elses shoes. She is obsessive. I found a tiny pair of flip flops today. Her feet are way too pudgy to wear them. She got pretty damned pissed off about the whole thing. I had to hide them.

BLM has a void in her life. She told Mimi that she was "missing something in her life" today. She does not have a turtle in her life. Oh, the injustice of living in this cruel, cruel world. I don't know if we will be able to continue on if we do not fulfill this void. Might as well make her appointment to have an intervention when she's 18.

LLM was wounded this evening. Her heart broke. Her Mimi left the house with her big sissy. She is still fairly angry about it. I can't seem to make it right. It is getting ready to get put in its crib and I will shut the door and hear no more of it.

This isn't a hotel or a catering service. This is my house, dammit. When do I get to do some bossing and have my way about things?

Daddylicious: Happy Anniversary!

We were wed 9 years ago today! Time has flown by and I can only say that I love you more and more every day. You are amazing, strong, fun, funny, and you have been putting up with my crapola for a long time.

Our wedding was fast. It was, like, 15 minutes tops. We hurried to our reception so we could party down, and it was FUN! The next day we flew to Mexico and spent 7 wonderful days having a wonderful honeymoon.

I think for the 10th anniversary, we are going to start planning a trip NOW. Everyone is invited. It will be somewhere tropical with all-inclusive bevvies. Let me know if you want to sign yourself up for the 'Licious 10th Anniversary Party.

Oh- and the best part of my day so far was waking up to see that my BABY DADDY posted a comment on my blog!

Bad Dream

I had a sickening dream last night.

For some reason, I was babysitting four kids and all of their dogs/cats. It was a houseful. Somehow, we ended up at Sasha's mom's house to spend the night.

The cats proceeded to piss and shit everywhere. I had to clean it up and no one would help me. I was mortified that Sasha's mom would see the piss and cat shit everywhere. I picked all of it up, and I could still see where the piss and shit was.

It was awful. Sasha. I will *never* bring cats/dogs to yo mama's house! I promise!

I Haz A Hurt

I had to go to the dentist today. It makes me all tense inside to sit in the chair and get the drill going on inside my mouth. So, I prepared. I prepared with some anxiety medication and I took my iPod so I could hear Tupac. I breathed the gas.

It took FIVE (5) shots to get my jaw numb. It took longer to do the numbing than it did to fix the cavity. I had a hard time keeping my mouth open that wide, so they had to put the bite block in my tiny mouth. My jaw still hurtz.

And to top that off, my iPod died during the process.

I could use some pain medication. Ibuprofen does not come close to helping. AND, I have to go get Chatty Cathy. She's going to want to talk four hundred words per second and my jaw hurts and I won't be able to participate in the conversation.

DL does not get home until 9:00pm. I will have administered Benadryl by then if Chatty isn't careful.

I Have Arrived

Stop what you are doing and read this.

I was doing my usual multi-slacking routine today at work, part of which includes reading/posting on a message board. It's seriously my favorite thing to do. On this message board was a thread in which people were discussing names with creative spellings.

I have 2 girls that have "creative" names. I consider myself to be quite a top-notch authority on the matter.

After my lunch, I got this message on that thread:

From Angry Mother:
I really find this thread RACIEST and IGNORANT! First of all, I really never post anything here, but to make fun of names and then put labels on them are just "Straight up disrespectful!" Not only are you making fun of names that are "stereotypically black", but then you talk about "Mexicans" like they are "aliens" or something. Weither they are Legal or not, they are humans. I find it funny the "Holly" would make fun of names when her child is named "KENNDI" isn't it suppose to be spelled "Kennedy?"
Then top put the icing on the cake, you talk about "Not so good neighborhoods" or "URBAN!" So it makes Mary, Holly, Beth, Amy "typical" names? Like these are unique names that no one should make fun of. Most Holly's I know are wh*&es!
Say what you want, but this is a thread for "ANYONE" to get pissed at. Yeah, I didn't have to look at this thread, but I did and I felt like I needed to say something just as you have the right. But when everything is said and done, IT'S DISRESPECTFUL!

from me:

"KENNDI" is not the way we spell her name. It looks like this: Kennedi

And it is a Wal Martz name because I spelled it Kre8tivley. If you would read the mutha truckin' thread before you mutha truckin' post, you MIGHT know that I'm making fun of myself.

And, yes, I am a wh0re. My mother was a prostitute, so she gave me that name so that I could carry on the family tradition.

What other concerns do you have, please? I'm also on drugs... would you care to hash that out?

from Angry Mother:

Well, it musta hit a nerve, bc "DID I CALL U A WH*&E?" I said "MOST" Holli's I know are, and as far as you being pissed, "WHO CARES?" I am too! I have never read a thread on this board that has made me this angry. AND I DID read the Mutha Truckin WHOLE thread! So say what you want, this is how I feel and both of us will have to deal with it.

I have a hater! It was the best! I seriously don't know how I got called out because all I did was make up silly spellings for names. I never said anything about an urban neighborhood! Nor did I say anything about Mexicans or make fun of anyones name unless they ASKED me to give them a kre8tive (Wal Martz) name.

Just write this date down, June 17th as the day that I officially angered someone via the interwebz for no reason whatsoever!

It's Monday.

It's 7:26. I don't know how I'm going to make it through the next 1.5 hours.

LLM has been having one solid tantrum since I got home. BLM has been clinging, but at least kissy and lovey.

All I want is bath and bed, and for the laundry to do itself and put itself away. Is that a whole lot to ask?

I'm very excited that the new season of Intervention is on tonight. VERY EXCITED. I have to get these kids down before 9:00 so I can watch drug addicts in peace and quiet. It just isn't the same to try to watch Intervention while your children are awake.

Our neighbor friend is here. They are playing graduation. Friend said, "Pretend you graduated from high school and got married and had babies. " I simply had to interject! "NO! You have to graduate from college, then get married and have babies. Thirty years old, minimum! :o) " My standards are pretty high, I guess.

Dear Baby Daddy,

Happy Father's Day! There are not enough words to describe how blessed we are to have you.

You are the reason I am able to nurture my babies. Please let me tell the world why:

When BLM was born and we brought her home from the hospital I was stunned. I could NOT believe the doctor's and nurses allowed me to take this fragile life home. I was beyond terrified. I didn't know how to change a diaper. I didn't know how to talk to a baby. I didn't know what to do with her when she cried. It was horrifying. I tortured myself with ever single decision I made.

You helped me through the guilt of not being able to nurse her.
I watched you talk to her. My heart swelled with more love for you than I ever thought possible. I learned how to love her and bond with her from watching you.

You were everything I needed you to be and more.

When we brought the LLM home, I fell in love with you all over again.

When I lost my mind and thought I wouldn't make it, you comforted me and helped me. You let me cry and you held me. You didn't know it, but again- you were everything I needed you to be.

I tortured you with my depression and my tears. You knew I was hurting and you were strong. You may not have known it, but I made it through because of you.

I hear you talking to the girls when you think I can't hear you. The precious words you have for him make me love you even more. I fall in love with you every time you nurture and care for your babies.

I wouldn't be as happy and as mentally stable as I am today if it were not for your love and your support. I don't know how you dealt with me when I was anxiety-crazed and irrational. I'm lucky you can put up with the shit I dish out. I want to be a better person because of you and the girls.

I miss you so much sometimes with your crazy work hours, but I admire you for what you do for our family. You make me happy. You make me laugh.

My thanks to you for being who you are,

Baby Momma

Ass Hat Mother of the Year

Taa Daa. I'm the weiner.

Chandler has had strep throat since Tuesday. She was seemingly fine today. She took a nap for her babysitter. After nap, she wanted to go to the pool so I let them.

I get home at 5pm and she had a 101 fever and felt like ass.

I don't know how to stop abusing myself. I'm such an asshat. I hate making poor choices.

The Source of the Stench and Other Things

There was a foul smell in LLM's room this week. I searched high and low, and I couldn't find it. It was rank. I thought it might be turds, but I wasn't sure. I knew that I didn't put a doo doo diaper in the diaper pail. I'm diligent about putting those in Wal Mart bags and taking them to the trash.

I was putting laundry away this afternoon and I found it. A doo doo diaper wrapped in a Huggies diaper bag (you know the big bags that they come in). I thought it was a Huggies bag with a few diapers left in it. No. No it wasn't. It was the foul festering turds. GAG.

BLM has strep throat. I took her to the doctor and she was such a big, brave girl when she got her throat swabbed. I made her take a nap, therefore I took a nap too. I'm so good at napping. I wish I could get paid for it.

Edited to Add:
1) Afro: I noticed your comment the other day from my house cleaning extravaganza. Please consider yourself lucky that you do not have this birth defect like I do.

2) I do not like my new blog header and I will be changing it.

3) Chandler (wants me to type this) is is an animal lover. Um. I love my mommy. And I like Haley my babysitter. I always want Haley to babysit me. I like Tinkerbelle.

Tagged Myself

Ashely told me to tag myself. Here it goes:

What was I doing 10 years ago?
Probably partying as much as I could. I was just shy of college graduatuion, so I was semi-responsible yet favored the party atmosphere.

Non-important things/habits/quirks:
I shave my legs every night or else I can't sleep.
I have to sleep with a noisy fan.
I used to only want chocolate cake for my birthday. Now I want white with whipped icing.
Beds must be made every day.

Five Foods I Enjoy:
Pork Rinds
Popcorn
Diet Dr. Pepper
York Peppermint Patty
Michelob Ultra

5Things I Would Do If I Were a Billionaire:
build a custom home
save
save
save
travel

Five Places I Have Lived:
Riverside, CA
Ada, OK
ECU Dorms
House on Linda
House on Hillcrest
House on Willowbrook

Five blogs I'm tagging:The first five who do it. Post here if you have
done it. Have fun.

OMG, I Are Excited!

New season of Paranormal State starts next week. I have to get my DVR fixed, the lightning got it.

Yay!

Antagonizing

Mamalicious has almost survived yet another day of Motherhood. Almost. The girls are wild from being stuck inside all day. I was very scared to come home. Luckily, it was not as bad as I had anticipated.

I forgot to mention a tale of the lake that made me giggle. BLM's Lake Friend joined us at the dock for some swimming on Saturday (pre-meltdown). He does not prefer to pee in the lake as BLM does, so I took him to the bathroom (quite a walk). On the way back, he told me that he has turkey on his ranch and if you kick them and chase them it is called antagonizing. He is not allowed to antagonize the turkey. I love it when 4 year olds use big words.

I updated the blog header. I'm going to try it out and see if I like it.

Lake Report

A June Miracle! DL fixed my vacuum cleaner. I was able to get home from a long day on the lake and get RIGHT to the good stuff. The house was filthy. It isn't anymore. Catch this- I even have clean sheets on ALL 3 beds and one crib. All 3 toilets are clean. All floors are clean. Everything has been properly dusted and put away. Laundry is doing.

Love the lake, I really do. Except I have to do the same cleaning extravaganza at the lake (dad's insistence). Then I get to turn around and come home and do it.

What's fun is the BLM got grounded for the first time last night. And do you know why? Because it was dinner time and I tried to get her to sit down and eat. She RAN into the house yelling how it wasn't fair. IT'S JUST NOT FAIR. We ignored it until dinner was over. I yanked her up by her arm and made her have a 5 minute time out. Then I shut her in her room.

After that, I found that she had thrown off all of the bedsheets on her bedding in the other room. Oh, this does not fly. After time out was over, I asked her to come and tell me what happened and she said, "It was an accident." I told her that was fine, but she was grounded and couldn't play with Grant any more until tomorrow. SHE LOST IT. She cried for a good hour. She told me she wanted me to ground her FOREVER. It was dramatic. I don't know where this drama comes from. Seriously.

I got her bathed and in bed and we settled down and watched, "Ginganna Jones and the Waders of da Wost Ark". She fell promptly asleep.

Today we were invited to the beach with some friends. We had a great time.

I do have one ugly. You know that sunscreen that comes in a stick? I put it on my head. I missed some spots on my forehead. I have white strips. That's going to be pretty.

Hello!

Hello, bottom of my closet! I can see you! I decided that since the storm chasers are all predicting bad weather tonight I might want to be able to get in the master bedroom closet. I didn't get to the clothing cleaning out, but the shoes have been purged and organized.

Isn't THAT exciting? Here is the radar view. You can't see my county on the map yet, but I'm south and east of Oklahoma City by 85 miles.

Normally, I really love storm coverage. I can't ever watch it because BLM gets very upset about the "cold air mixing with the hot". When we saw tornado damage at the lake a few weeks ago, we had to refer to it as "wind damage" so the 9 thousand questions wouldn't follow.

But, Last Comic Standing has been on interrupt the whole time. I've been listening to the XM Comedy Channel in my car for a week. I'm perfecting my own routine and I really need to see and hear as much as I possibly can.

I subconsciously tried to get rid of the cats. I fed them dog food on accident. I couldn't figure out why they were up in our grill (our face, not the grill outside). Both of them have been Stage 5 Cling Ons. I went to the store today to buy some cat food because I knew we were getting low. I put it beside the garage door and Oliver tried to bite into the bag. I went out to the cat bowl, and there it was- little bits of dog food. Shaped like dog bones, even! Maybe I thought they would turn into dogs?

Oh Yes I Did

I went nucking futz on the dresser drawers. I have a photo of the pile of clothing that came out, and the pile that remained after the purging was over.

That was just the drawers. Not the panty wardrobe. Not the closets. Those are next.

I had another great Working Mom I Can Kick Ass night. Neighbor friend came over. I made dinner. Is this cooking?? Frozen waffles, scrambled eggs, bacon, chocolate milk? Anyhow, that's what it was. The girls ate it up. We went to the park for more train ride and merry go round fun (with neighbor girl, LLM, and BLM all by myself). We came home, had baths, and neighbor is spending the night so the air mattress is set up for camp in the playroom. See, I do need all my rooms after all.

LLM is driving me crazy. I must tend to it and then I will be back for to torture you some more with pictures and boring details.

Sisters

I don't have a sister (or a brother).

Maybe that's why this is so cute to me. Our evening consisted of: Dancing (Can't Touch This), Pizza with Root Beer, a trip to the park complete with a train ride, merry go round ride, round of mini-golf, shared sno cone, shared popcorn. Came back to the crib and took a bath and shared the rest of the sno cone during the bath.

Whew. All of that was after 5. That was like a whole nuther day in and of itself. I didn't even talk about the reading practice or playing with Beanie Babies.

I meandered around the BHB for a good solid 5 hours today during work while my work website was down. I got to having some of that working-mom-daycare-guilt shit. Thankfully the evening worked out the way it did because I feel like a pretty good Momma right now, not a monster Momma who takes her baby to the evil daycare.

As It Turns Out

I have a lot more than I need house-wise. I've been thinking, and all we need is a 2 bedroom house, 2 bathrooms, no kitchen. I do not need a formal dining room, a play room, and an extra room for 1 girl.

The girls have been sharing a room (for 2 nights). We don't dine, so there is no need for a formal or informal dining room. We don't cook (maybe that's why we don't dine). I don't need an oven or a dishwasher. I just need a fridge and a microwave and toaster.

I do need plenty of closet space and some more drawers for t-shirts. I might be able to use the space I have if I would clean out the bottom layer of crumpled up t-shirts and shorts that I no longer wear. There seems to be a top layer or upper crust of clothing in the drawers.

I have too many Socks Without Partners. I don't even wear a bra other than a sports bra, but there is Wh0re Panty/Bitch Panty deal. Now- Bitch Panties do not mean I am on my period. I am not ever on my period. I do not get one of those, so Bitch Panties are simply Granny Panties with the Bitch factor thrown in.

One day soon, I'm going to lose it. I'm going to get big black trash bags and dump all of the contents from my dresser into them. I'm only keeping 5 t-shirts, 4 shorts, 3 PJ's. Plus the under ware wardrobe. Just thinking about it gets me a little agitated and wanting to commence with the dumping. I am going to purge my closet. I'm going to get rid of all of the shoes that litter the bottom of my closet. DL is going to wonder where his shit went, but he does the same upper-crusting that I do.

Don't come over here and ask to see in my closets or my dressers or my kitchen drawers or cabinets. You will be asked to leave. Do not even think about looking under my bed. My house is clean and dusted, the floors are clean. So are the counter tops and the toilets.

I'm just saying it to myself.

Big Ass Bows

Shannon, Eva's bows inspire me. Tell me how we rate with these korkers:

I aim to have as many bows for outfits as humanly possible. Mimilicious created these korkers. I love them. They made me feel like she was a birthday gift to her Momma. I also just love this expression. It says to me, "I want of something. You are not giving me the something that I want of. I might get loud in three...two...one...MAAAAAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Dear Mamalicious,

You are not 21. You cannot drink like, 2 shots of tequila and 14 beers and expect to feel great the next day. Most probably, you will be hurting (read: throwing up) the next day. It isn't fun. You don't like it. You don't feel good.

Let's not do it again for at least next year,

Mamalicious

PS- This is not what you looked like on Saturday morning.