Gawd, it was a long day. Work was long. I had a two hour lecture followed by a 30 minute lunch followed by a 3 hour meeting. The three hour meeting was with consultants. One made the grave mistake of referring to BBQ in an incorrect way. I politely told him that, "BBQ is not a grill. BBQ is not a verb. BBQ is meats prepared in a very special way."
He told me he was from Texas. I informed him that everyone in Texas knows what BBQ is, and that a BBQ is not a physical cooking appliance. BBQ is smoked meats (sometimes rubbed with spices or injected with delicious flavor.)
Then, he went backwards on me. He said he was raised IN the state of Texas by his family who are not from the south. That explains that.
After the BBQ Consulting Session, I went to pick up the small child.
She was in time out when I arrived. And she was eating her socks. The reason she was in time out? She would not keep her shoes on. She was obviously hungry- if a girl has to eat her own socks then she's not eating enough food. Clearly.
Big Lil Momma was sweating and flushed from playing outside on the playground equipment. I always interrogate her about the hours she spends at school (and she never answers because what happen at school stays at school.) I try to ask specific questions. Today was, "Who were you playing with outside, BLM?" To that she said, "No one. I just really enjoy playing by myself sometimes."
Well. Ok then. I like to be by myself sometimes, too.
The rest of the evening involved a trip to the Hell Hole. Little Lil Momma wants to run free like the wind in Wal Mart. I will not permit this. She did the ole stiff leg tactic on me and refused to bend her legs into the seat of the cart. This makes me laugh. Laughing makes her angry. Seeing her angry makes me laugh even harder. This makes her even more angry.
A very kind door greeter came over to us with pity in her eyes. She said, "You're not having a fit are you? Get in that cart right now and I'll give you a sucker."
Total magic. The LLM was mostly compliant for the better part of the shopping experience. I'm going to have to start keeping suckers in my purse.
PS- Thank you very mucho for all of the kind compli's on my fam. It made my day!
People Who Read My Crap
10 comments:
*sigh*
As a native Texan, it saddens me when people up here in NYC invite me to a barbecue... and it's burgers and hot dogs.
That said, my Yankee daddy makes the best damn brisket I've ever tasted, which means that clearly his 24 years in Texas have done him some good. (And by God, if someone uses "barbecuin'" round him as a verb, they get a LOOK. You'd think he was a Texan if it weren't for the occasional Yankee accent.)
Thanks, sugar. Thankfully, my fam's in Dallas (but still expecting tornadoes, floods, power outages...) but K's fam is all in Houston, as are most of our friends. Super awesome, not stressful at all. Ike's freaking huge!!
Mamalish! Suckers and stickers, and sugar free gum, get this mama out of many binds. Hell is to be raised if I am without.
Thank you for the warning,I have not started speaking for the lighthouse... and I wont start. She translates and tells me all about it.
She did throw a hellofa stiff leg not getting in the damn car b/c we had to leave the lighthouse fit!
Will we ever miss these days? She did tell me "mommy i love you bigger than the sky" when I put her to be just now..I will miss that!
You are one busy momma!!
I tell you, they should have given LLM a snack when she started eating shoes at school!! LMAO
I love the walmart Greeters!!!
Looks like someone needs to watch the "Review of BBQ" song by Rhett and Link...that'll set him straight!
Suz from SC, where we like our sauce mustard-based!
LMAO. I love Walmart stories. There's like none around here.
thank you for defending the good name of BBQ
I always thought bbq was a verb. I was raised in texas and lived there for 29 years. Is that why?
I am laughing at LLM eating her socks!
Hate the Mart. Hate with passion. Hate taking children there even more.
But damn it's cheap!
Amen on the Bah-bah-q...as my Southern raised children call it.
The variations on bbq SAUCE I can live with - the vinegar kind, the tomato kind, the hot kind - but yeah, it's not a grill, and it's not a party - it's the actual food. In my town, that food is specifically from a pig.
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