Thanks for your "feel good" comment to me, after I have spent 2 days away from my family. It really made me feel great... I just really love that you would post it under no name, and proclaim your judgements to me, a working mom who is proud to be able to balance work and life. It wasn't easy to get where I am professionally and mentally. Comments like this are designed to bring me down a notch and make your choices better than mine.
So, for the world to see, here are your kind words for me:
I had to comment on this. I am glad you have found a way to balance both. However, I am a stay at home mom so I can be available to my children while they are young, knowing that I have decades ahead of me to dedicate to a career. Most moms in my neighborhood work and I can't tell you the number of times that at all of these families have had to call me begging me to pick up their sick kids at school, or say they are stuck in traffic and could I please get their kids off the bus, or having the kids get off the bus and come to my house crying because their mom forgot to put the "daycare note" in their backpacks and no one is home for them. It is heartbreaking. I just wish some of these parents that pat themselves on the back for their strong "work ethic" invested a little more into their "parenting ethics" for these kids instead of burdening other friends/neighbors/granparents etc.
Please allow me to elaborate on why this comment is so delightful. You do not know me, and you do not know that my parenting ethics are my first priority. You do not know that I have worked hard to be a place in life where in my organization family comes first. No questions asked. Sick kid? Swim Class? Class Field Trip? Thanksgiving Program? Valentine's Party? Momma is there.
As far as burdening my friends/neighbors/grandparents- uh no. Never. I have never done this and never will. Maybe you have shitty neighbors. Maybe you shouldn't help them if it makes you resentful. Maybe you shouldn't be judgemental towards someone you don't know. Maybe you should feel good that a working mom can have it all. Maybe you don't feel like you have it all. I don't know, but you made me feel like shit and I wanted to let you know. So, THANKS! Job well done, poster who can't even post her own name.
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26 comments:
wow, what a nasty piece of work that one is! seriously.
how miserable must her life be that she feels it necessary to hunt down people, strangers, to step on so she can feel better.
kiss off, anonymous poster! you have NO idea who you're dealing with!
holly, shake it off, girlfriend. you're 10 times the mother that one is because you're 10 times the PERSON she is.
I heart you, Ally! Thanks for saying that. I just spent a looooong 2 days away from home and that was a peach to read.
:o)
That's crap Holly! No one should be judging anyone for their mommy choices no matter what they are. Everyone should do what's right for THEM. And no, not everyone is good at that. There's sucky WOHM who dump their kids with their neighbours, etc... and theirs sucky SAHMs who sit on their arses and surf the net all day collecting public aid. There are good and bad no matter what. Don't take some random crap to heart, you know what works for your family, a stranger doesn't.
WOW!
I certainly wasn't passing judgement on YOU! I even said that I'm glad you found a good balance. I was just commenting (which is what it's here for) on MY bad experiences on the opposite side of the fence. It REALLY was not meant to be directed to you and YOUR choices. It was my own two cents regarding my neighbors who suck. I totally apologize and did not mean to offend!!
I lurk all the time, but don't post much. Used to frequent WM on BBC though.
We all do the best we can with the hand we're dealt in life. There are good & bad moms everywhere, no matter if they choose to work outside the home or not.
Keep posting Holly. Don't let someone that rude bring you down.
Ah, well thanks Anonymous poster for clearing that up. I am just being touchy, I'm sure. I think you should tell your shitty neighbors that you are not available and don't let anyone take advantage of you. Enjoy your SAHM-hood, because the babies grow up too fast to not savor it.
Holly
PS- I'll probably be deleting this whole thing soon. I was just so lonesome for my girls during my work trip and this hurt me because I just spent 2 days away from them.
I really do feel bad - if you could have "seen my heart" through email, you would know that I was not being malicious at all towards you - it does come off that way after reading it again. I really was just throwing out my own frustrations for the situation I'm in. Each family doesn't see it as a problem because they only call so often but when I have ten different families calling for help it's daily and I do resent it but I would look like an ass if I freaked out on each of them.
Sending deep heartfelt grovelling snotty apologies your way.
I will never comment again :(
And jeesh, call off your supporters already, I promise I'm not as bad as they all think (at least not intentionally)!!!
don't delete this, it is a true picture of how judgemental people ca be.
I have been on both sides myself, sahm and working mom, both married and single. It is a tough choice to make either way, I applaud those who do it and like you obviously do it well. You should take a big bow, because having it all is never easy and requires some monumental multi- tasking. I also applaud your job which allows you to be all the things you need to be.
Giant and massive
Kudos to you both.
p.s. To Anonymous: It was very sweet of you to apoligize, but remember : It is better to be silent and thought a fool, than to speak and have it confirmed.
I don't know who said it, but have always thought it totally true
Haulee,
Keep on gettin' on with the get on!
I am also a full time working mom and my daughter is the most important thing in my life. NO EXCEPTIONS! If I get a call from daycare that she's sick, I'm there. If she scratches her knee on the pavement, I'm there. Just because you work outside of the home does not make you any less a momma. God has a will for each of us and therefore we each lead different lives, sometimes He just makes it harder for mommas!:)
Anon poster-get some balls and stand up to your neighbors before they suck all the blood out of you. It's not their fault if you don't tell them what they're doing wrong. Wow, I would have thought you would have known that since SAHM's are superior.
Fuck that bitch sister!
Oopsie! You are an awesome momma and I love you.
You have it all and I am SO very proud of you in every way!
I know people can get to you, but shake it off: you are better than that and you have more important things to occupy your life than a haughty self rightous cowardly homely douchebag bitch like that.
Love always,
Lori Lovehandles
Holly, I am shocked to read that comment from anonymous. Shocked. Uncalled for.
To anonymous (why you don't say who you are intrigues me), I have known Holly for almost 3 years now and she is one of the most caring, hard working mothers and employees I know. Even if you weren't trying to be malicious towards her it sure came across that way. If you cannot leave positive feedback, then don't leave any at all.
Holly, I heart you. You are amazing and AWESOME. Your FBS sisters love and adore you and we are always here for the support and love you deserve.
Your baby girls and DL are so blessed to have you.
Heather
****(NOT the other 'anonymous'! I just don't have an account with blogger!)
Ahh,
Aren't those annon comments fun? I have had one lady (Im assuming) post a couple of comments herself. All in the name of caring. Yet all she is doing is talkin smack thinking that she knew the whole story when she really didnt know shit. Just projecting her shitty experience onto my life.
Anyway, it is nice that your anon came back and apologized and explained what (and how) she meant in her first comment.
You are a good mom, don't let comments like the first one get you down.
~Jennifer
Mamalicious....love your blog and your response. I hate it when ppl like anon assume/insinuate that women are so one-dimensional that having a career and being an awesome mom are mutually exclusive! It is a ridiculous form of snobbery. Bravo to you Mama!!!
Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! Ok, I had to get that off my chest...then i went ahead and read 'all' the posts.
Kinda makes ya wanna ask exactly what her kids do without so she 'can' stay home! My kids like their $150 tennis shoes and their $100 sunglasses at their young ages...
Oh, Haulee... This kind of shit (Anon, I know you apologized...,) from SAHMs makes me so mad. I know what a great job you do and how much you love your kids. You are a devoted mother. You are also a hard worker and have worked your ass off to get where you are(although, you hawtness has helped...) You have found a great balance. Your kids are lucky to have such a caring mom AND to get to see her amazing work ethic.
I am a SAHM, and I love it, but it ain't for everyone! LOL! I know far too many little SAHMs that either do nothing with their kids, or play the martyr... Kind of like Anon sounded to me... They are used and abused and underappreciated by all. Blah.
The debate has been going on too long on BH (I read all those, but it makes me too mad, so I rarely comment on that DUMBASS debate. Ther is no DEBATE. They are different. Neither is better.) You don't need to let anyone, especially a SAHM who doesn't know you, or doesn't understand what you do for your family, and certainly doesn't understand wanting to work and working hard at a career other than raising her kids, get you down. YOU RAWK, girlfriend.
xo!
I love it when people have to hide behind the internet. Why post anonymous?
Sillyness HAULEE. Keep on Rockin'.
Hi ML, can I just say I am a sahm and I hate it. I worked all of my life until now. My son will be 12 in a few days and I am going to start training him to be "the man of the house, lol" so I can go back to work. I am very jealous of you life.
Oh. BTW. When you come over to dance to Webbie with me can you please wear the MILF shirt?
It would go over great in my circle of friends.
Holly - I'm glad you've been able to not only find your blance, but totally rock being a WOHM.
I can't imagine working for a company that wasn't "family first" either. But I cheat - I only work PT because it's what's best for me and my family. :) I wouldn't be good at SAH and I suck at FT
Anonymous - that was very nice of you to clarify. But seriously, you must have some crappy neighbors because I cannot FATHOM calling one of my SAH friends and ask them to do that. The thought would never cross my mind.
you should show the comments to her neighbors, and let's see if they keep "bugging" her!
Boy, oh boy. I wish I could say that it was big of "anonymous" to apologize, but think about it - she CLEARLY was trying to get a response or she wouldn't have come back to see what kind of firestorm she had created. She would have really gotten some mileage about of a rant of mine in my very first blog...
"I truly believe that I do more in the first 2 ½ hours of my day than some stay-at-home, mini-van driving soccer moms do in their entire day." Of course it goes on from there…
Now THAT is something that someone can take offense to and that's fine. I could care less. Of course, in my defense, I was referring to a very specific type of SAHM, much like my SIL living a terrible SAHM life in Honolulu (poor thing), as opposed to women like my mother who DID give up the chance to work outside of the home in order to be there when I got home from school (for which I will forever be grateful). But, the problem with bitter people is that when they read/see something they don't like, they find a way to make it about them.
In times like these I like to refer to the great West Beverly High philosopher, Donna Martin: "Scan, discard, select, move on."
Wow! I am so sorry someone posted that. I read your blog quite regularly and find you to be both hilarious and loving. Just shake it off. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and a great family.
Honestly I'm reading your blog because one day I also hope to balance work and children. I have a very corporate career, but I also want to be a mother. Reading your blog makes me realize that women really can have it all.
Its great that anon came back to clear up their intentions behind their comment HOWEVER, there was definitely a holier than thou attitude that came through loud and clear. There certainly seems to be a huge divide between SOME SAHM and WOHM (I really stress the some part here!!) As a WOHM, I get really hot under the collar when ANYONE infers that I am a substandard parent because I choose/need to work. If you are going to judge my parenting have it be on the merits of what I put in my blog, not the fact that I work! Keep on doing what you're doing - your girls and beautiful and obviously not suffering due to the fact that you work!
I think that is crap! I am so tired of woman tearing each other down for their choices. I'm glad you apologized "anonymous" but maybe you should think before you post in the future. Blog writers are not faceless, nameless people...they are MOTHERS who have feelings and are trying to keep it all together the best way they can. Before you judge you should walk a mile in anothers shoes...it's time for woman to stand up for each other!! Keep doing the awesome job you are Holly!
Ladies- I think it may be time to step away from the computer. Holly expressed her hurt feelings...the anonymous poster came back and profusely apologized and everyone is still trashing her. Seems a little over the top to me.
Susan
susan - you must be new to the intarwebz!!!
(i kid, i kid...)
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