Hey- I just made up a new term. Tantrumonium. Thanks, Big Little Momma for having a HUGE meltdown because neighbor friend wasn't home. After finding out friend wasn't home, BLM ran home crying and tantrumonium ensued. She is in her room, crying it out.
My house is clean. It is not going to stay this way long, I assure you.
Let me just say that I do not consider myself normal when it comes to my house cleaning. Slim, do not feel bad that you do not desire to clean. Consider yourself lucky that you are not obsessive and that the cleanliness of your house does not affect the kind of day you have.
This obsession is genetic, I think. My dad is what is known as a "wiper". He keeps everything immaculate. His vehicles look new all.of.the.time. His boat looks new all of the time. His Sea Doo looks new. He is obsessive and he has to "wipe around on stuff" weekly.
When I was a LM, my dad was in construction. He would build a new house, and if it didn't sell we'd move in. I thought it was normal to live in a brand new house every 2-3 years. I was spanked if I touched a wall with my hand (you know how kids like to run down the hallway and run their hand along the wall? That's what got me spanked).
We had to keep the house in move-out ready condish. I had to scrub baseboards every other week. Guess what- since I moved out, no one scrubs baseboards at their house. What's up with that Mimi? Were you just making me earn my keep? See what you and dad did to me?
DL and I have always bought older homes to reno. We get them "like new" before we move in. I'm positive that the genetics of the "wiper"isim comes out in me wanting to have it clean all of the time.
Anyhow, before I had LM's I cleaned my house 2x a week. My sickness is so bad that I always have to do things in a certain order. If they don't ALL get done (down to clean sheets on the bed), it DOES NOT COUNT AS A CLEAN HOUSE inside of my head.
That, friends, is sick.
Having a housekeeper does nothing for me. I do not get the same sense of satisfaction, and as a mentally ill person- I need this temporary satisfaction.
I am not as bad as I was pre-LLM. I've even had dirty dishes in my sink overnight! That's progress.
Anyhow, my house isn't totally clean. I still have to put clean sheets on the bed. That might have to wait until tomorrow. We're going to the lake in the morning, and nothing would please me more than coming home to clean sheets. However, if I don't put clean sheets on tonight then this whole house cleaning I just did today does not count.
Do you see now that this is the mind of a sick person??
People Who Read My Crap
12 comments:
I do not remember you getting spanked for touching the walls. I think you dreamed that in one of your drug induced nightmares. Get off of that shit! After may years of taking a sleepaid I am off of them. Of course I don't go to sleep until about 1 or 2. By the way, there are more important things than a clean house. Mimil.
Mimi, I did get spanked over touching the walls. Why would I make that up?
Yes, there are lots more important things than a clean house. Like sleeping. Which I can't do.
But- I wrote this blog in the afternoon, so it was not one written under the influence of ambien.
Maybe I DO want to be a french fry.
Maybe you are a french fry or a tater tot. I'm not saying you are a liar, just that you don't remember right. i really don't think you got spanked for that. maybe slapped around and thrown across the room but not spanked. did papalicious spank you? i'm going in there and smack the holy crap out of him after he falls asleep. wouldn't that be funny. then i will run real fast and hide. he'll never know it was me. and by the way, we didn't dust baseboards all of the time. maybe once a year.
I also wanted to add that these fucking ants in my kitchen is what is making my house feel nasty to me.
AND, you are the one that married that man and had me. I didn't pick to be a wiper's daughter.
I loved your Dyson today and your dog. She needs to come and live with me because she loves me and Hailey does not.
Do you want me to come and scrub your baseboards?
Is that really your mom commenting--of someone efff'n with you??
OR someone
what I meant to say :)
I always wished I was one of those people who was obsessively clean. My house would be immaculent and clean and sanitary. But instead I am a slob, my house is a mess and my sink has dishes in it. Oh well. I am too lazy to change...for now!
I must say... after many years in college and many gatherings at Mimi's house.. I never knew she was so damn funny! You ladies just made my morning!
Holly, I would like to adopt you.. My house is a horrible hell that I cannot even think about...
XO
Shannon, please let me know what perks will accompany my adoption. Because, you know, I'm going to be a Sister Wife to Ashley soon...unless your offer is better. She lives in Florida. I'm just sayin'.
I'm glad that we made your morning. This went on last night and I was laughing my ass off. I think we need to paint papali toes red when he is asleep tonight. We could totally do it since he sleeps sitting up on the couch.
Just think how funny that would be!
#1 My mother also swears now that she never hit us as children. Riiiiight. They have selective memory when they get older. We'll have it too.
#2 My husband and I also have a similar thing with having to have the house in perfect order before we leave for the lake. We like to come back to the house all nice and neat. It stems way back to when we first bought our very old home and it was not in good shape. We came home from a great lake trip and our mood changed when we walked in the door to our crappy home that had not had any remodeling work done yet.
you girls are hilarious!
Whoever dares to skip the comments is a total dumba#*.... It's the best part.
lol - that doesn't sound mental to me. :P My mom - now she's mental. She has to clean the whole house at LEAST once a day. Sometimes she gets up at 6 in the morning and cleans everything then does it again that night since we 'made it filthy' over the course of the day. My dad and I are packrats and couldn't care less about a dirty house as long as there isn't bugs or anything.
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