Shannon called me on Saturday to tell me that I was blog fodder for The Ashley's this weekend. I almost got in the car and came home so I could get on the internets and find out what all this talk was about! As it turns out, I think Ashley has proposed to me. I can't imagine being a sister-wife. It sounds like fun! Just think of all of the multi-slacking that would be done at the Ashley's house! It would be bonus that they live in FL. I know they already know that I don't cook. I do clean, and I do laundry- I sustain life off of BBQ Pork Rinds and Diet Dr. Pepper along with a handy bag o meds. I'm picky about my beer and the kind of music that I listen to, so that must be stated right up front... sort of like the Sasha Rider.
The Mamalious Rider would include:
Diet Dr. Pepper
Pork Rinds
Peanut Butter
Wireless Internetz
Michelob Ultra
Petron
Ambien
Lexapro
Xanex (for the occasional freak-out)
NO COUNTRY MUSIC, EVER. (say it like on Mommy Dearest)
I go to bed pretty early and I really like to watch A&E. If Mr. Ashley wants a fun friend, he should probably invite DL to be his brother-husband. Darren is *really* fun and funny. Our girls are pretty sweet, and very cute. A word of warning, though, they are demanding and are used to us catering to them. The big one minds better than the little one, so I'm sure we'd have to stay in a state of well-medicated-ness to be able to endure what LLM and LK can dish out.
Also, we have 2 cats (Phoebe and Oliver). Oliver's nickname is Osama Bin Oliver, because he is a total terrorist. We don't mind leaving them here, but our LBD must come. She is a chocolate lab. She causes no trouble, but her anal glands sometimes get infected and she smells like ass from time to time. It's really no biggie. We just take her to the vet and get her squeezed and clean.
Anyhow, let us know what ya'll want to do about gaining a sister wife and a brother husband. I should probably post the Daddylicious Rider, it's simple: Bud Light. That's all he needs. He eats a cracker ever now and again. Totally easy to please.
People Who Read My Crap
10 comments:
what about rebecca frederick music? i mean, it's country ... but it's REBECCA!
Kenny and I are both enjoying this reading pleasure you have bestowed upon us this evening... too freaking funny!
oh the fun blogs that would come out of this arrangement!
your kids and hers would make some even more gorgeous babies too. you know, just keep it all in the family.
I don't think I'd want that big ass dog "wallering" all over my couch with infected anal glands......
Did I use that right??? ;)
Now that would be some funny reading!!
So Tired- Yes, that was used properly. Infected anal glands will get you kicked out of the house and sleeping outside.
No Wallering on Furniture with Infected Bung Holes.
Holly
step off, haulee--i had her first
Isn't there a movie about this type of arrangement? Yours Mine and Ours? LOL how fun...I need to find a good sister-wife/brother-husband match. Maybe I would have a clean house?
I have responded to your counter offer with a counter offer of my own.
oh and that dog's anal glands will be nowhere near my couch.
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