DOM

I went for my walk this morning and searched around in my head for something to write about. Here it is:

I have an annoying co worker. He is an elderly man (beyond retirement age). We can call him James. He is responsible for leadership training within our organization.

James is a DOM (Dirty Old Man). James is constantly making inappropriate remarks. Last week, he told me about an email he recieved about male enhancement that would add three inches. He said to me, "Hell, why stop at 3? Let's go for 5." This is one sample among many.

When James shared his story, I did not laugh and I did not smile. I didn't tell him that I thought it was inappropriate, simply because there was another person (another female, my age) was in the room and I didn't want to embarrass him. What I wanted to say was, "James. I do not find humor in those comments. Could you please not share that with me?" And, I plan on saying that when the chance arrives, because I know it will.

James is often using swear words in the seminars he conducts. We are adults and can take the swearing. However, he has progressed past that and will make sexual comments in front of an audience. People laugh. Because it's James. He's endearing in a dirty old man kinda way. To top that off, people always ask him to lead us in prayer. I don't want to be led in prayer by a DOM. If I don't know the prayer leader to be a DOM, then fine. But I don't want to hear prayers led by a DOM. I just don't.

I don't think he's funny, but I'm not "offended" as in to take it to my manager and ring a bell and run it into HR's already hectic life. I just don't want to hear it. I plan on telling him so. But, do I wait until it happens again or just have a courageous conversation with him before it happens again? I can't see myself doing that. He does need to know that it isn't OK and that some day he may just make a comment to someone that does land him in hot water with HR.

Just because you are a DOM does NOT mean it is OK to talk like that in mixed company.